# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 38
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/741 "2013-08-12T15:21:02Z")
“What the hell does ‘pluperfect’ even mean?” Tom said tensely. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/742 "2013-08-12T15:22:00Z")
“Someday I hope to hold a middle-management post at Dunder Mifflin,” Tom said officiously. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/743 "2013-08-12T15:22:16Z")
“Are you serious?” said Tom, surely. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/744 "2013-08-12T15:36:46Z")
“That was truly a titanic failure” said Tom, with a sinking feeling. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/745 "2013-08-12T15:39:51Z")
“I’ll have you know I’m the world’s foremost authority on Word War I battlefields,” Tom said trenchantly. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/746 "2013-08-12T15:41:25Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “Someday I hope to hold a middle-management post at Dunder Mifflin,” Tom said officiously. “I’d rather work at Wernham-Hogg,” said Tom originally. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/747 "2013-08-12T16:34:59Z")
“There was an elm on the North Moors walking - walking seven yards to a step,” Tom said stridently. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/748 "2013-08-12T16:55:08Z")
“I love Ann McCaffrey’s novels about dragons on that other planet” said Tom, perniciously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/749 "2013-08-12T16:56:38Z")
“What station is ‘Jeopardy!’ on here?” asked Tom, quizzically. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/750 "2013-08-13T02:55:16Z")
“There’s only one great French aircraft manufacturer,” Tom said desultorily. ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/751 "2013-08-13T08:34:29Z")
“We’ll never make it to the top floor!” Tom said hysterically. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/752 "2013-08-13T11:44:51Z")
“At last I’ve got the smell of skunk off me,” Tom said distinctly. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/753 "2013-08-13T12:03:12Z")
“I seem to have been careless with a table saw”, Tom remarked offhandedly. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/754 "2013-08-13T13:08:10Z")
“I’d love the Dope even more regardless”, said Tom about **Shodan**. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/755 "2013-08-13T16:11:17Z")
“I firmly believe in Manifest Destiny,” Tom said expansively. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/756 "2013-08-13T17:10:21Z")
“Overthrow the government!” Tom cooed. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/757 "2013-08-13T17:37:46Z")
“Those physicists in Switzerland ain’t so hot shit just 'cause they found the Higgs boson” said Tom, discerningly. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/758 "2013-08-13T17:44:00Z")
“My harness horse just broke stride!” said Tom, distraught. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/759 "2013-08-13T19:01:12Z")
“I’m gonna sue! See you in court!” Tom said plaintively. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/760 "2013-08-13T21:59:42Z")
"I’ll be ready for that, " said Tom defensively. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=37) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=39)