# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 39
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/761 "2013-08-13T22:26:26Z")
“Oh, geez, here comes another one” said Justice Thomas, judiciously. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/762 "2013-08-13T22:34:57Z")
“We can preserve some of this fruit for winter,” Tom said cannily. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/763 "2013-08-14T01:23:51Z")
“I used to enjoy card games,” Tom said whistfully. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/764 "2013-08-14T02:03:21Z")
“I’m a fan of Indianapolis’s pro football team,” Tom said coltishly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/765 "2013-08-14T02:24:24Z")
“I prefer Indianapolis’s pro basketball team,” said Tom, pacing himself. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/766 "2013-08-14T02:36:29Z")
“My favorite is the New Jersey hockey team,” said Tom devilishly. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/767 "2013-08-14T08:18:23Z")
“If they played in a higher league, I’d follow Hamilton’s association football team,” said Tom academically. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/768 "2013-08-14T16:12:46Z")
“I just got a job as a gift wrapper,” Tom said presently. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/769 "2013-08-14T17:47:30Z")
“Everyone knows that Melville wrote _Moby-Dick_, Orwell wrote _1984_ and Fitzgerald wrote _The Great Gatsby_,” Tom said authoritatively. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/770 "2013-08-14T18:05:35Z")
“If this boat ever capsizes, it automatically returns to top side up” said Cap’n Tom, self-righteously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/771 "2013-08-14T18:08:17Z")
“It feels so good to finally sail into the waterway past the Isle of Wight and into Portsmouth Harbour” added Cap’n Tom, insolently. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/772 "2013-08-14T18:14:22Z")
“Look, I’ve rolled a “20” three times in a row; I have to have hit that thing,” said Tom critically. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/773 "2013-08-14T18:19:23Z")
“Do you mind, I’m trying to watch the cricket,” Tom said testily. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/774 "2013-08-15T02:42:57Z")
“Every fictional magical castle deserves a troublesome ghost,” Tom said peevishly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/775 "2013-08-15T05:12:30Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “Every fictional magical castle deserves a troublesome ghost,” Tom said peevishly. “What the hell kind of place name is ‘Gormenghast’?” Titus groaned. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/776 "2013-08-15T06:57:15Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > “What the hell kind of place name is ‘Gormenghast’?” Titus groaned. _decorous applause_ ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/777 "2013-08-15T17:23:35Z")
“I am SO glad we finally got the house hooked up to the sewer system” said Tom, incessantly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/778 "2013-08-15T17:44:10Z")
“Would you eat green eggs and ham?” asked Tom insouciantly. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/779 "2013-08-15T18:15:28Z")
“And now I _have_ preserved some fruit for the winter!” Tom said candidly. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/780 "2013-08-15T19:33:42Z")
“Is your back up against the wall?” Tom asked Eileen. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=38) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=40)