# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/61 "2013-07-10T19:54:15Z")
“Great Caesar’s ghost!” Tom whispered, spookily. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/62 "2013-07-10T19:59:06Z")
“This popular computer game has taken over my life,” Tom said, completely mystified. ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/63 "2013-07-10T19:59:09Z")
“J’Accuse!” Tom exclaimed, damningly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/64 "2013-07-10T20:12:19Z")
“Why don’t your pigs make any noise?” Tom asked the farmer disgruntledly. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/65 "2013-07-10T20:14:16Z")
“I thought we’d have dinner by candlelight,” said Tom with a wicked glint in his eye. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/66 "2013-07-10T20:18:35Z")
“Nice orgasm,” Tom gushed. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/67 "2013-07-10T20:39:06Z")
“Have you had extreme unction?” Tom said at last, righteously. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/68 "2013-07-10T20:45:04Z")
“σ = F / A,” Tom stressed. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/69 "2013-07-10T20:46:48Z")
“The Army of Northern Virginia always waited for the right time to act”, Tom said patiently. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/70 "2013-07-10T20:47:59Z")
“I have looked at eight other German hotels, and still can’t find one I want to stay in,” said Tom neinly. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/71 "2013-07-10T21:11:07Z")
“I wish my gonads were bigger,” said Tom a little testily. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/72 "2013-07-10T22:26:12Z")
“I don’t approve of Japanese fishing practices,” Tom wailed. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/73 "2013-07-10T22:27:15Z")
“Nor am I a fan of hunting bird for sport,” Tom groused. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/74 "2013-07-11T00:22:54Z")
“I study Greek goddesses such as Erato and Calliope,” Tom mused. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/75 "2013-07-11T01:07:00Z")
I also study Clotho and Lachesis, Tom said fatefully. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/76 "2013-07-11T01:22:11Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > “I didn’t know I was only supposed to post one Tom Swifty,” sang Rik in a high treble. “I never can post just one,” Tom said lazily. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/77 "2013-07-11T02:34:05Z")
Don’t make fun of the Dog Star!" Tom said seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/78 "2013-07-11T02:41:09Z")
“Ah, but to forgive is divine,” Tom said airily. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/79 "2013-07-11T02:43:18Z")
“Ow! Those nails really hurt,” He said crossly. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/80 "2013-07-11T02:51:28Z")
“Wilford Brimley can definitely play the villain,” Tom said firmly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=5)