# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 40
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2013, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/781 "2013-08-16T02:09:00Z")
“I can drive any car I want to now!” Tom said licentiously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2013, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/782 "2013-08-16T16:47:44Z")
“Looks like Santa isn’t going to bring me that Red Ryder BB gun this Christmas,” said Ralphie, lackadaisically. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2013, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/783 "2013-08-16T16:54:54Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “Every fictional magical castle deserves a troublesome ghost,” Tom said peevishly. "And the castle should move, " Tom howled. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2013, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/784 "2013-08-16T18:45:04Z")
“That’s a real shame about all that oil BP spewed into the Gulf of Mexico”, Tom said slickly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2013, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/785 "2013-08-17T01:22:48Z")
“Get your hands off my dog,” Tom growled. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2013, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/786 "2013-08-17T11:52:09Z")
“I burning your dog!” said Tom, incendiarily. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2013, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/787 "2013-08-17T11:54:40Z")
“I stabbing your dog!” Tom said pointedly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/788 "2013-08-18T00:47:13Z")
“It’s _dangerous_ to form a compound of mercury with the CNO ion! That stuff is _explosive_!”, Tom fulminated. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/789 "2013-08-18T01:08:37Z")
“Don’t those idiots know all they need to do is throw some meat, vegetables and water into a pot?” Tom stewed. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/790 "2013-08-18T01:16:37Z")
“Never let it be said I cannot be affed”, said Tom, affably. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/791 "2013-08-18T01:24:44Z")
“I guess I’ll have to make another multi-layered cake,” Tom retorted. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/792 "2013-08-18T18:59:58Z")
“Oh, great - now I’m subjected to 400 Gs,” Tom said flatly. ---
**Author:** ![67java89](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/aeb1de/32.png) [@67java89](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/67java89)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/793 "2013-08-18T19:58:33Z")
“I can’t sleep without my favorite pillow,” Tom said softly. ---
**Author:** ![67java89](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/aeb1de/32.png) [@67java89](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/67java89)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/794 "2013-08-18T20:04:18Z")
“I have left my home!” Tom shouted with abandon. ---
**Author:** ![67java89](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/aeb1de/32.png) [@67java89](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/67java89)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/795 "2013-08-18T20:05:23Z")
“I’m going to make jewelry,” Tom said craftily. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/796 "2013-08-18T20:05:33Z")
“I’d like another glass of that heavy red wine”, Tom reported. ---
**Author:** ![67java89](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/aeb1de/32.png) [@67java89](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/67java89)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/797 "2013-08-18T20:08:38Z")
“This is the perfect autumn day,” Tom said crisply. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/798 "2013-08-18T20:10:19Z")
“90 degree summer days wear me down,” said Tom hotly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/799 "2013-08-18T21:05:13Z")
“I plan to vacation in a little town in the Rasina District of Serbia,” Tom said brusquely. ---
**Author:** ![67java89](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/aeb1de/32.png) [@67java89](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/67java89)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/800 "2013-08-18T22:52:31Z")
“I got passed over for promotion to the coffee division again,” said Tom bitterly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=39) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=41)