# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 41
**Author:** ![67java89](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/aeb1de/32.png) [@67java89](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/67java89)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/801 "2013-08-18T23:42:04Z")
“I think we should restore the old bell tower,” Tom chimed in. ---
**Author:** ![67java89](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/aeb1de/32.png) [@67java89](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/67java89)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/802 "2013-08-18T23:43:32Z")
“I’m really enraged at the choice of the new pontiff,” Tom said apoplectically. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/803 "2013-08-18T23:51:53Z")
“I love Johnny Cash’s albums from when he sang in prison,” Tom said fulsomely. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/804 "2013-08-19T01:36:22Z")
“I’m going to rip all the aluminum off of the exterior of my house,” Tom decided. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/805 "2013-08-19T01:52:50Z")
“I’m going to exhaustively enumerate just exactly how many roads a man must walk down before you can call him a man,” Bob delineated. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/806 "2013-08-19T01:57:36Z")
“Let’s see…I’ve seen the Statue of Zeus at Olympia, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Mausoleum at Halicarnasus, the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Colossus of Rhodes, and the Lighthouse of Alexandria; where should I visit next?” Tom wondered. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/807 "2013-08-19T05:55:59Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > “What the hell kind of place name is ‘Gormenghast’?” Titus groaned. “I’ll call my fictional castle any damn name I please!” replied Mervyn, piqued. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/808 "2013-08-19T13:49:33Z")
“Anyone who hates Don McLean’s most famous song should be shoved in the face with a pie,” said Tom, Americanly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/809 "2013-08-19T14:00:45Z")
“I am \*nothing \*like the _Hindenburg_!” Rush Limbaugh gassed. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/810 "2013-08-19T18:52:41Z")
“Hmm, who should be the Vikings quarterback this year?” Tom pondered. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/811 "2013-08-19T19:44:13Z")
“Have you never heard the name of a British aircraft carrier of the early Second World War?” Tom asked furiously. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/812 "2013-08-19T20:31:48Z")
“I can’t believe that Prince Charles eats aquatic mammals!” Tom twice wailed. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/813 "2013-08-19T23:23:53Z")
“How can you deny that Shakespeare’s greatest creation was Caliban?” said Tom tempestuously. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/814 "2013-08-19T23:39:43Z")
“Are you gay?” queried Tom. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/815 "2013-08-20T00:15:44Z")
“Maybe, maybe not,” answered Tom by-and-by. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/816 "2013-08-20T01:53:55Z")
“The time limit on my arithmetic test was almost up, but I quickly answered the last question just as the buzzer sounded,” Tom hastened to add. mmm ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/817 "2013-08-20T09:21:31Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > “The time limit on my arithmetic test was almost up, but I quickly answered the last question just as the buzzer sounded,” Tom hastened to add. > mmm “Only an idiot would choose to do the sum question rather than the quotient question,” said Tom divisively. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/818 "2013-08-20T10:36:14Z")
“Now you get on top,” Tom offered. mmm (wondering if anyone gets this one) ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/819 "2013-08-20T11:42:02Z")
Give is a little credit, huh? 😉 “I love the way that brook flows over the rocks”, Tom babbled. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/820 "2013-08-20T13:31:19Z")
“A few quick punches to the chest, yeah, then a couple quick stabs to the jaw, yeah, then, then, then another few punches to the chest, one more to the jaw…”, Tom jabbered. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=40) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=42)