# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 42
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/821 "2013-08-20T14:14:07Z")
“I’m glad Lewis Carroll gave us so many new words in ‘Jabberwocky’”, Tom chortled. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/822 "2013-08-20T15:18:42Z")
“Looks like I’m going to have to provide more cites in this thread”, Tom recited. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/823 "2013-08-20T16:50:24Z")
“I do love that song ‘Downtown’ by that Clarke woman”, Tom said petulantly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/824 "2013-08-20T17:01:02Z")
"What do you mean, you don’t know “Bridge Over Troubled Waters,” said Tom appalled. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/825 "2013-08-20T17:29:04Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > "What do you mean, you don’t know “Bridge Over Troubled Waters,” said Tom appalled. “I can sing 'Bridge Over Troubled Waters” just like the original", Tom said artfully. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/826 "2013-08-20T20:12:10Z")
“Excuse me, my name is Tom, with an O, and I have no idea where you’re getting Russell from,” said Tom timorously. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/827 "2013-08-20T21:09:57Z")
(particularly proud of this one) “Theodore is not invited,” Tom noted. mmm ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/828 "2013-08-20T21:22:28Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > (particularly proud of this one) > “Theodore is not invited,” Tom noted. > mmm “The gullible fool’s paying though. I got him with the same trick he fell for nine times before,” said Tom contentedly. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/829 "2013-08-21T00:46:33Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > "What do you mean, you don’t know “Bridge Over Troubled Waters,” said Tom appalled. > [@Eutychus](#): > > “I can sing 'Bridge Over Troubled Waters” just like the original", Tom said artfully. “I prefer Simon & Garfunkel’s original stage names,” said Tom & Jerry. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/830 "2013-08-21T03:26:22Z")
“Did you hear there’s some college group named after a pudding?” Tom asked hastily. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/831 "2013-08-21T04:19:02Z")
“I’m going over to take a closer look at those seabirds with short wings”, Tom said aukwardly. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/832 "2013-08-21T10:37:31Z")
“I am no longer a virgin,” Farmer Tom said sheepishly. mmm ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/833 "2013-08-21T13:22:47Z")
“But it was totally worth it!” she bleated. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/834 "2013-08-21T13:28:25Z")
“C’mon, really, why don’t you admire Col. Chamberlain, hero of Little Round Top?” Tom joshed. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/835 "2013-08-21T18:06:24Z")
“I can’t wait to be the mad scientist’s new lab assistant!” Tom said eagerly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/836 "2013-08-21T18:11:30Z")
“Hand me that knife, Montezuma, if you please,” said Tom disheartedly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/837 "2013-08-21T18:39:42Z")
“Waz fo’ dinna, Ma? Cold mutton _agin_?” axed Lizzie Borden. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/838 "2013-08-21T18:46:42Z")
“I didn’t like the latest movie based on J.M. Barrie’s most famous work,” Tom panned. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/839 "2013-08-21T18:51:29Z")
“Really? It had me hooked!” tinkled Belle. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/840 "2013-08-21T19:00:00Z")
“I love Russ Meyer movies”, Tom tittered. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=41) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=43)