# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 43
**Author:** ![That\_Don\_Guy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/that_don_guy/32/538_2.png) [@That\_Don\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/That_Don_Guy)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/841 "2013-08-21T19:57:28Z")
“Vance and I are every bit as much Dukes as our cousins,” Tom said coyly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/842 "2013-08-21T20:03:43Z")
“I think that Millie is very modern” said Tom, thoroughly ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/843 "2013-08-21T21:51:45Z")
“I’ve discarded all my twos,” Tom deduced. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/844 "2013-08-22T01:52:40Z")
“The Viagra is working!” Tom said excitedly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/845 "2013-08-22T03:43:30Z")
“If only some Greek mythical beautiful woman would inspire me to create great art,” Tom mused. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/846 "2013-08-22T10:38:14Z")
“I’m gonna do you from behind,” Tom barked. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/847 "2013-08-22T12:22:23Z")
“I haven’t caught anything all day,” carped Tom. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/848 "2013-08-22T13:03:20Z")
“Why are you always taking my lighter?,” Tom bickered. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/849 "2013-08-22T14:28:39Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > “Why are you always taking my lighter?,” Tom bickered. “You want to have a lighter fight?” Tom fired back? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/850 "2013-08-22T14:34:23Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > “Why are you always taking my lighter?,” Tom bickered. > [@Eutychus](#): > > “You want to have a lighter fight?” Tom fired back? “A lighter fight? You got nothin’! You got zippo!”, Tom blazed. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/851 "2013-08-22T14:38:53Z")
“Aw, now my car is almost outta gas,” Tom fumed. ---
**Author:** ![That\_Don\_Guy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/that_don_guy/32/538_2.png) [@That\_Don\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/That_Don_Guy)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/852 "2013-08-22T17:19:07Z")
“I get my political news from Arianna,” Tom huffed (and posted). ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/853 "2013-08-22T19:14:44Z")
“These winds will take my sloop all the way into harbor,” Tom said breezily. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/854 "2013-08-22T19:24:56Z")
“I, we, you, he, she, they, it,” Tom pronounced. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/855 "2013-08-22T20:14:58Z")
“Can’t you just let me say whether I’m guilty or innocent, Your Honor?” Tom pleaded. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/856 "2013-08-22T20:20:23Z")
" 'Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe," Tom loosely caroled. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/857 "2013-08-22T23:48:36Z")
“Have you taken up smoking?” Tom asked dubiously. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/858 "2013-08-23T00:48:56Z")
“My new glasses should have been here an hour ago,” Tom speculated. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/859 "2013-08-23T01:10:12Z")
“When Judgment Day comes, I’m going to be taken up into Heaven, but you won’t be, suckers!” Tom said rapturously. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/860 "2013-08-23T05:40:20Z")
“Take that, Dracula! And I hope it really hurts!” said Tom painstakingly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=42) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=44)