# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 44
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/861 "2013-08-23T10:47:49Z")
“The graspberries are ready to pick,” Tom griped. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/862 "2013-08-23T13:29:03Z")
“I’ve found the laundry detergent!” said Tom cheerily. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/863 "2013-08-23T13:35:49Z")
“So what? It was right on top of the washer” Tom’s wife replied, tidily. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/864 "2013-08-23T16:40:23Z")
“And look, I found the dishwashing fluid, too!” Tom said joyously. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/865 "2013-08-23T16:56:11Z")
“I won’t stop looking until I’ve found the furniture polish,” Tom pledged. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/866 "2013-08-23T18:12:00Z")
“Damn, that toothpaste tube squirted again!” said Tom, with a gleem in his eye. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/867 "2013-08-23T19:39:28Z")
“This is the line to see the Tony Award winning musical with puppets? It stretches down the street and around the block to the avenue,” said Tom, queueing up. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/868 "2013-08-23T21:30:44Z")
“I live in the valley,” Tom hollered. mmm ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/869 "2013-08-24T00:00:22Z")
“Well, _I_ live on a _mountain_!”, said Tom, piqued. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/870 "2013-08-24T01:15:51Z")
“The floors were so dirty, so scuzzy so mean… But now they do dazzle, do shine, do come clean. All thanks to my ingenious, my inspired, my incredible buffing machine.” Tom waxed poetic. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/871 "2013-08-24T03:05:18Z")
:: golf clap :: “I wish my floors were a little more appealing,” Tom said dully. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/872 "2013-08-24T11:22:05Z")
“Don’t worry, there will be donkey rides on the beach,” Tom assured. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/873 "2013-08-24T13:26:06Z")
“I like my new water moccasins,” Tom hissed. mmm ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/874 "2013-08-24T13:50:47Z")
“How does my rope get all twisted up in knots so easily?” Tom snarled. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/875 "2013-08-24T13:59:49Z")
“Don’t worry, there will be donkey rides on the beach,” Tom reassured. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2013, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/876 "2013-08-25T15:33:10Z")
“Well, I’m never hiring THAT bunch of lawyers again!” Tom said firmly. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2013, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/877 "2013-08-25T22:41:45Z")
“I’ve seen a lot of changes to the James Bond series, but I never thought they’d have Pavarotti play his boss,” said Tom emphatically. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2013, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/878 "2013-08-25T22:43:58Z")
“Is that another comment about discrimination towards the obese?” Tom asked fatuously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2013, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/879 "2013-08-25T22:45:21Z")
“Hmm, maybe I’ll go visit the prison and try to convince some inmates to try to escape” said Tom, contemptibly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/880 "2013-08-26T00:50:06Z")
“I got the second letter of the alphabet covered in foamy soap!” Tom blathered. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=43) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=45)