# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 45
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/881 "2013-08-26T01:46:24Z")
“Nice sweater,” Tom tittered. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/882 "2013-08-26T03:05:53Z")
“My quiff collapsed!” said Tom, crestfallen. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/883 "2013-08-26T04:02:31Z")
“Anybody know how to summon a lesser servant of Baal?” Tom asked fiendishly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/884 "2013-08-26T13:11:11Z")
“I hate Hugh Jackman doing any role but X-Men’s Wolverine” said Les, miserable. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/885 "2013-08-26T13:24:12Z")
“Arrh! Heave to, ye lily-livered cudswallops, or I’ll have ye all keelhauled!” said Roger jollily. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/886 "2013-08-26T14:03:52Z")
“I am totally fascinated by the fauna of Tibet, aren’t you? I mean I just love those creatures of the snow, with their long shaggy hair …” Tom yakked. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/887 "2013-08-26T14:23:58Z")
“If I have parsley, rosemary and thyme, who needs any other herb?” Tom said sagely. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/888 "2013-08-26T14:27:06Z")
“Do you think I should squeeze this toilet paper to see if it’s soft enough,” said Tom, charmingly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/889 "2013-08-26T15:49:12Z")
“I just love Ira Levin’s works” said Tom’s wife, robotically. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/890 "2013-08-26T15:50:56Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > “I just love Ira Levin’s works” said Tom’s wife, robotically. “Ah, isn’t she just the perfect wife?” asked Tom, stepping forward. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/891 "2013-08-26T17:56:39Z")
“Hmm, I don’t know which handbag to get for my wife, the Gucci, the Prada, the Hermes …” said Tom, his lips pursed. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/892 "2013-08-26T17:59:37Z")
“I am full of love for all the world … what is that Greek word for it?” said Tom, agape. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/893 "2013-08-26T19:37:50Z")
“I just love watching reruns of 3rd Rock from the Sun,” said Tommy, solemnly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/894 "2013-08-26T19:50:57Z")
“Oh, come on, Juno, your husband won’t be home for hours,” said Tom jovially. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/895 "2013-08-26T19:54:07Z")
“I just got DVDS of the three original Star Wars moviesand the entire run of The Man From U.N.C.L.E, and I intend to spend the weekend watching them all, all by myself,” said Tom, going solo. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2013, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/896 "2013-08-27T10:34:32Z")
“I think I’ll interweave strands of my hair into a single, rope-like band,” Tom brayed. mmm ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2013, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/897 "2013-08-27T11:00:42Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > “I hate Hugh Jackman doing any role but X-Men’s Wolverine” said Les, miserable. “Russel Crowe’s done better 18th/19th century period pieces than his turn as Javert,” said Tom masterfully and commandingly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/898 "2013-08-28T03:28:39Z")
“What thort of thaditht thpelt my thpeech impediment with an eth?” lithped Tom. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/899 "2013-08-28T04:15:02Z")
“Of course you could do a great job in the role of the female lead from _The Philadelphia Story_!” Tom said placatingly. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/900 "2013-08-28T08:53:18Z")
“Follow me, I know the way to the concert,” Tom giggled. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=44) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=46)