# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 46
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/901 "2013-08-28T12:37:06Z")
“Why don’t they play _Black Water_ on the radio anymore?” asked Tom dubiously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/902 "2013-08-28T12:50:35Z")
“I’m going camping this weekend. Want to come?” Tom asked intently. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/903 "2013-08-28T13:21:13Z")
“I really shouldn’t eat so many refried beans,” Tom said astutely. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/904 "2013-08-28T13:33:04Z")
“Thanks for letting me borrow the apartment, mate” said Tom, flatulently. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/905 "2013-08-28T14:01:35Z")
“I just ate the entire collected works of Shakespeare,” Tom said playfully. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/906 "2013-08-28T14:16:42Z")
“William, I am in your debt for so many things,” said Tom biliously. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/907 "2013-08-28T14:18:09Z")
“I think Cordelia’s hot,” said Tom, leering. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/908 "2013-08-28T14:23:36Z")
“Better leave her alone - she has Gonerilhea”, said Regan, by way of intercourse. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/909 "2013-08-28T15:21:07Z")
“Would you like to hear my bird calls?” Tom tweeted. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/910 "2013-08-28T15:27:38Z")
“I like the comic relief in Shakespeare’s plays,” Tom belched. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/911 "2013-08-28T17:42:52Z")
“The cocaine you get on the street these days is total crap”, Tom snorted. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/912 "2013-08-28T18:22:20Z")
“Some people tell me I look like a particularly elegant and well-groomed bird,” Tom preened. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/913 "2013-08-28T18:25:09Z")
“What, like a stork or a crane?” asked Tom, immediately egreting it. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/914 "2013-08-28T18:28:02Z")
“It’s a [CENSORED] chicken,” said Tom fowlly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/915 "2013-08-28T19:26:46Z")
“Is it 4:20 yet?” asked Tom, stone-faced. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/916 "2013-08-28T19:28:39Z")
“It’s 5:00 somewhere,” Alan buffetted. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/917 "2013-08-28T19:58:59Z")
“I wish the MLK memorial had gotten that ‘drum major’ quotation right in the first place,” Tom said stonily. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/918 "2013-08-28T21:00:03Z")
“It’s my house and I say we are going to watch these movies: The Harder They Fall, The Desperate Hours, The Left Hand of God, We’re No Angels, The Caine Mutiny, The Barefoot Contessa, Sabrina, The Love Lottery, Battle Circus, Beat the Devil,Deadline U.S.A., The Enforcer , Sirocco, The African Queen, In a Lonely Place, Chain Lightning, Knock on Any Door, Tokyo Joe, Key Largo, The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, Dead Reckoning, Dark Passage , The Two Mrs. Carrolls, Always Together, The Big Sleep, Two Guys from Milwaukee, Conflict, Passage to Marseilles, To Have and Have Not, Action in the North Atlantic, Sahara, Thank Your Lucky Stars, All Through the Night, In This Our Life, Casablanca, The Big Shot, Across the Pacific, The Maltese Falcon , High Sierra, The Wagons Roll at Night, Virginia City, Brother Orchid, Invisible Stripes, It All Came True, The Oklahoma Kid, Dark Victory, King of the Underworld, The Return of Doctor X, You Can’t Get Away With Murder, The Roaring Twenties, The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse, Bullets or Ballots, Crime School, Men Are Such Fools, Swing Your Lady, They Drive By Night, Racket Busters, Angels With Dirty Faces, The Great O’Malley, Marked Women, Dead End , Kid Galahad, Stand-In, San Quentin, Black Lagoon, Tale of Fury, Two Against the World, The Petrified Forest, China Clipper, Call It Murder, Three on a Match, Love Affair, Big City Blues, The Holy Terror, Women of All Nations, Bad Sister, Body and Soul, A Devil With Women, and Up the River” said Tom, Bogarting the DVD player. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/919 "2013-08-28T21:02:31Z")
"I lost my job when the company got a machine to do it, eliminated my position and put me out of a job, " said Tom redundantly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2013, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/920 "2013-08-29T01:41:14Z")
“I’ll keep drinking Guinness no matter how much weight I put on!” said Tom stoutly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=45) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=47)