# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 47
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2013, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/921 "2013-08-29T01:56:38Z")
“Please don’t tell me how the movie _Titanic_ ends,” Tom said icily. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2013, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/922 "2013-08-29T20:17:14Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > “I just love Ira Levin’s works” said Tom’s wife, robotically. > [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > “Ah, isn’t she just the perfect wife?” asked Tom, stepping forward. “I read Levin’s works every day” said Tom, perfectly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2013, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/923 "2013-08-29T22:00:10Z")
“Levin wrote an interesting book on cloning Hitler, too,” Tom said boyishly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/924 "2013-08-30T05:47:03Z")
“I share all my secrets with the tree shepherds!” said Tom confidently. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/925 "2013-08-30T22:47:56Z")
“What I really did was to separate the butterfat from the milk solids,” Tom clarified. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/926 "2013-08-31T01:33:29Z")
“I love venison so much I just wanna wear it,” Tom said endearingly. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/927 "2013-08-31T02:34:00Z")
“I want the role of the NASA colonel on ‘I Dream of Jeannie’,” Tom bellowed. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/928 "2013-09-01T08:10:59Z")
“It’s not proper dancing when your arms and moving!” said Michael Flatley. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/929 "2013-09-01T11:41:18Z")
“Crap! My tricuspid valve is malfunctioning!” said Tom brokenheartedly. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/930 "2013-09-01T17:40:56Z")
“It been seven days since I posted here,” said Tom weakly. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/931 "2013-09-01T19:40:04Z")
“Not everyone finds this [del]eazy[/del] [del]eezie[/del] [del]easie[/del] easy,” Tom said forthrightly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/932 "2013-09-01T20:30:20Z")
“You need to be sensitive to residents’ needs when deciding on urban renewal projects,” Tom said plangently. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/933 "2013-09-02T02:31:14Z")
“Thanks, but I couldn’t possibly fit in any more chicken fried steak, collard greens, or okra.” said Tom soulfully. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/934 "2013-09-02T02:33:35Z")
“Get that screeching feline off of that vertical stone structure!” Tom caterwauled. mmm ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/935 "2013-09-02T02:41:53Z")
“I do believe my four humors are out of balance, and I shall require a bloodletting” said Tom, phlegmatically. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/936 "2013-09-02T02:55:25Z")
“Last one to find the source of that foul odor is a rotten egg!” Tom said gamily. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/937 "2013-09-02T14:56:32Z")
“That little gnome ain’t telling the truth,” Tom implied. mmm ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/938 "2013-09-02T15:07:41Z")
“I don’t have a full ream of paper, only 25 sheets - anybody know what that’s called?” Tom inquired. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/939 "2013-09-02T19:28:12Z")
“When I want lots of liberal pontificating, I know just where to go!” Tom huffily posted. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/940 "2013-09-02T22:55:27Z")
“Zack? (here!) A.C.? (here!) Lisa? (here!) Jessie? (here!) Kelly? (here!) Where’s the rest of the class?” Tom screeched. mmm [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=46) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=48)