# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 48
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/941 "2013-09-02T22:56:34Z")
“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked”, Ginsberg howled. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/942 "2013-09-03T00:55:03Z")
“Both Mom and Dad have switched genders,” said Tom transparently. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/943 "2013-09-03T01:18:15Z")
“I really worry whether or not the Security Council will be able to avert war over Syria,” Tom said unconcernedly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/944 "2013-09-03T04:36:41Z")
“I ask Your Honour to set an example of this thief, by imposing the maximum sentence Sharia law will allow!” said El Tom offhandedly. ---
**Author:** ![Homo\_litoralis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homo\_litoralis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homo_litoralis)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/945 "2013-09-03T05:00:14Z")
“Those trees look like Irish evergreens,” Tom opined. ---
**Author:** ![Ronald\_Raygun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c67d28/32.png) [@Ronald\_Raygun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ronald_Raygun)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/946 "2013-09-03T07:51:56Z")
“Of of of of of of of of of of,” Tom said oftentimes. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/947 "2013-09-03T10:37:41Z")
“I enjoyed my three-day holiday weekend,” Tom said laboriously. mmm ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/948 "2013-09-03T19:40:15Z")
“When are you going to put that old mare out to pasture and buy a younger horse?” Tom’s wife nagged. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/949 "2013-09-03T19:44:30Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “When are you going to put that old mare out to pasture and buy a younger horse?” Tom’s wife nagged. “I’ll never get rid of that fine equine; she’s an Arabian!” Tom nayed. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/950 "2013-09-03T19:51:09Z")
“Fine? She looks like Nelson Mandela’s first wife”, Tom’s wife whinnied. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/951 "2013-09-03T19:52:51Z")
“Well, let me put her back in the stable and I’ll think about it”, Tom stalled. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/952 "2013-09-03T20:01:42Z")
“I’m really a tiger on the golf course,” said Tom, woodenly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/953 "2013-09-03T20:13:24Z")
“Watching the Simpsons makes me want to go out and stab a couple of people to death,” said Tom, juicing up. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/954 "2013-09-03T22:01:16Z")
“I’d like to help young males enjoy shellfish more,” Tom said boisterously. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/955 "2013-09-03T22:40:25Z")
“To the Batcave,” Tom said in a stately manner. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/956 "2013-09-04T01:40:46Z")
“I jutht realithed that being thith thmall meanth my thpeech impediment ithn’t my wortht problem! I feel much cheerier now!” Tom thumbed up. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/957 "2013-09-04T01:46:59Z")
“I really don’t care what species or manner of creature Goofy is,” Tom said dawggedly. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/958 "2013-09-04T10:32:44Z")
“I’m wearing that annoying silent clown’s trousers,” Tom pantomimed. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/959 "2013-09-04T14:07:47Z")
“I wish President Coolidge were still alive and leading the country,” Tom said recalcitrantly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/960 "2013-09-04T20:15:27Z")
“I just can’t take this anymore! Just leave me alone!”, Tom stressed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=47) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=49)