# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 49
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/961 "2013-09-04T20:22:09Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > “I just love Ira Levin’s works” said Tom’s wife, robotically. > [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > “Ah, isn’t she just the perfect wife?” asked Tom, stepping forward. > [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > “I read Levin’s works every day” said Tom, perfectly. > [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “Levin wrote an interesting book on cloning Hitler, too,” Tom said boyishly. “I prefer his book about the devil’s baby,” said Rose, merrily. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/962 "2013-09-04T20:23:37Z")
“General Arnold, the true founder of the United States Air Force, is dead”, Tom said haplessly. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/963 "2013-09-04T21:37:07Z")
“I see a group of crows,” Tom said with murder in his eyes. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/964 "2013-09-04T21:57:43Z")
“The father was the best character on _Happy Days_” said Tom bossily ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/965 "2013-09-05T02:05:49Z")
“I was having so much fun swimming in the lake until I got caught in the damn fisherman’s net!” said Tom insanely. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/966 "2013-09-05T10:30:30Z")
“Omar coming,” Tom wired. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/967 "2013-09-05T14:42:02Z")
“I’ve satisfied hundreds of women in bed,” Tom said studiously. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/968 "2013-09-05T14:46:21Z")
“It took you long enough to get here,” said Tom belatedly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/969 "2013-09-05T18:20:15Z")
Or: “Hang onto that mountaineering rope and don’t let me fall!” Tom said belatedly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/970 "2013-09-05T20:07:03Z")
“Like, I just love hearing the voices of the lawyer and actor dudes on the Simpsons,” said Tom, full of heart, man. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/971 "2013-09-05T23:37:07Z")
“That animal really needs to lose weight,” said Tom hypocritically. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/972 "2013-09-06T02:08:06Z")
“I like sex and ice cream at the same time,” Tom said laconically. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/973 "2013-09-06T03:10:36Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > “I jutht realithed that being thith thmall meanth my thpeech impediment ithn’t my wortht problem! I feel much cheerier now!” Tom thumbed up. “A rare triple wordplay, and no-one noticed!” said Tom pungently. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/974 "2013-09-06T10:36:50Z")
“I always arrive before the sume,” Tom presumed. mmm ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/975 "2013-09-06T13:56:18Z")
“The walls of Jericho cannot withstand me!” Tom trumpeted. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/976 "2013-09-06T14:01:00Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > “A rare triple wordplay, and no-one noticed!” said Tom pungently. “How can we note your words: for if we do, we are looking Askance?” asked Tom eponymously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/977 "2013-09-06T14:43:00Z")
“That Raggedy girl doll only weighs a sixteenth of a pound”, Tom announced. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/978 "2013-09-06T22:06:17Z")
“Who stole the money?” “Nine!” Tom pretended. mmm ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/979 "2013-09-06T22:53:41Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “That Raggedy girl doll only weighs a sixteenth of a pound”, Tom announced. “Woah, I just smoked the whole fourteen pounds,” said Tom, completely stoned. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/980 "2013-09-07T01:13:32Z")
“Someone didn’t ante,” Tom said shyly. mmm [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=48) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=50)