# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/81 "2013-07-11T03:27:51Z")
Not sure if this is of good form… “I like the rules of this game - no looking things up, just use your brain”, Tom read aloud from a Google results page. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/82 "2013-07-11T03:29:56Z")
“Someday I want to wear a white robe and live in Heaven,” Tom said angelically. ---
**Author:** ![Parthol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dec6dc/32.png) [@Parthol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Parthol)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/83 "2013-07-11T03:33:36Z")
“I wish we could stop this ship!” Tom said cantankerously. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/84 "2013-07-11T04:03:15Z")
“I really like the President’s Oval Office desk,” Tom said resolutely. > **[Resolute desk](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Resolute_desk)** > > The Resolute desk, also known as the Hayes desk, is a nineteenth-century partners desk used by several presidents of the United States in the White House as the Oval Office desk, including the five most recent presidents. The desk was a gift from Queen Victoria to President Rutherford B. Hayes in 1880 and was built from the oak timbers of the British Arctic exploration ship HMS Resolute. The 1,300-pound (590-kilogram) desk was created by William Evenden, a skilled joiner at Chatham Dockyard i... ---
**Author:** ![Crambler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/34f0e0/32.png) [@Crambler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crambler)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/85 "2013-07-11T04:19:25Z")
“Either that dwarf goes or I do” Tom said unhappily ---
**Author:** ![Parthol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dec6dc/32.png) [@Parthol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Parthol)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/86 "2013-07-11T04:36:18Z")
“Now I can’t tell my mom from my dad,” Tom said transparently. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/87 "2013-07-11T04:39:33Z")
“I just hit a home run,” Tom said strikingly. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/88 "2013-07-11T04:40:55Z")
“My sunburn really burns!” Tom said icily. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/89 "2013-07-11T04:44:43Z")
“Bestial bukake is the fetish for me!” said Tom goofilly. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/90 "2013-07-11T05:21:42Z")
“I’m drilling a hole through this rock,” said Tom boringly. ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/91 "2013-07-11T05:46:45Z")
“You’re a white man in Virginia, you can’t marry a negro woman!” Tom said Lovingly. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/92 "2013-07-11T06:31:17Z")
“Looks like something out of a chemistry lab!” Tom retorted. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/93 "2013-07-11T06:40:38Z")
“I love this new soda!” Tom bubbled. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/94 "2013-07-11T06:51:37Z")
“I really like the guy who plays the captain of the _Serenity_” Tom said malcontently. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/95 "2013-07-11T06:57:24Z")
“You’re just staying here temporarily,” Tom guessed. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/96 "2013-07-11T07:42:01Z")
“Dit-dit-dah-dit, dit-dit-dah, dah-dit-dah-dit, dah-dit-dah… and again, dit-dit-dah-dit, dit-dit-dah, dah-dit-dah-dit, dah-dit-dah,” Tom said remorsefully. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/97 "2013-07-11T08:15:24Z")
“Apparently it’s trendy to have a washboard stomach, so I’d better get on with these crunches,” said Tom fashionably. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/98 "2013-07-11T08:22:55Z")
“I don’t care how long it takes you to count these beer barrels, you snivelling wretches,” said Tom brutally. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/99 "2013-07-11T08:29:45Z")
“No, really, I couldn’t any more dolphin,” said Tom, purposefully. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/100 "2013-07-11T08:55:57Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > “I never can post just one,” Tom said lazily. I don’t get this one… How about this for a new sub-genre? The name doesn’t have to be Tom, of course: “I go to diving practice seven times a week,” said Tom Daley. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=6)