# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 50
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/981 "2013-09-07T06:49:25Z")
“In real tennis, the receiver is always at the same end,” Tom hazarded. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/982 "2013-09-07T15:59:14Z")
“I found the baseball, it was under my glove,” Tom submitted. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2013, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/983 "2013-09-08T10:43:14Z")
“I am the best football player in the world!” said Ronald messily. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2013, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/984 "2013-09-08T11:59:57Z")
“This plomb is my plus-one,” Tom said with aplomb. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2013, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/985 "2013-09-08T14:57:48Z")
“Watch out for my line drive or you’ll be eating that ball,” Babe said ruthlessly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2013, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/986 "2013-09-08T15:52:55Z")
“Some of my best friends are felines,” Tom said cattily. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2013, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/987 "2013-09-08T21:12:23Z")
“How does a rope left all by itself end up like this?” Tom snarled. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2013, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/988 "2013-09-08T21:16:51Z")
“Here in Arizona where I retired, there are only palms and cactuses. I miss seeing conifers”, Tom pined. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2013, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/989 "2013-09-08T21:36:01Z")
“I bet Janet’s got family photos in her small handbag of that trip to the beach,” Tom said perspicaciously. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2013, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/990 "2013-09-08T22:02:00Z")
“I live among the lions,” Tom said with pride. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2013, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/991 "2013-09-09T01:42:15Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > “I am the best football player in the world!” said Ronald messily. “Your name is Lionel, not Ronald, you utter fool!” said Tom forgetfully. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2013, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/992 "2013-09-09T06:07:45Z")
“It was Michael who did _Riverdance_, not me,” said Tom flatly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2013, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/993 "2013-09-09T12:20:54Z")
“Get the orchestra on the bus; we perform in half-an-hour!”, said Tom concertedly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2013, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/994 "2013-09-09T13:22:28Z")
“I will not put up with such terroism” said Tom, towering over with rage, releasing pent up angst, and shanking the entire village. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2013, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/995 "2013-09-09T19:48:37Z")
“The storms have abated off the coast of Hawaii,” said Tom pacifically. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2013, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/996 "2013-09-10T11:01:43Z")
“What would you call a dish of coarsely ground corn kernels boiled with water or milk?” asked Tom, grittily. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2013, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/997 "2013-09-10T22:02:27Z")
“How much firewood do we need?” Tom axed. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2013, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/998 "2013-09-11T01:24:44Z")
“I bring my horse \*\*and \*\*my guitar, but no-one ever wants to talk to me at parties!” said Tom mixedly. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/999 "2013-09-12T10:59:36Z")
“I’ve not yet become acquainted with digits 0 through 3 and 5 through 9,” said Tom metaphorically. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1000 "2013-09-12T12:20:32Z")
“One quick cheer for a thousand posts: hip, hip!” said Tom hurriedly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=49) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=51)