# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 51
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1001 "2013-09-12T13:10:24Z")
“Perhas we should send Secretary Kerry to Damascus for a little chat,” Tom said diplomatically. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1002 "2013-09-12T16:24:33Z")
“I think you need to be a little less flippant about that”, Kerry replied, syriously. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1003 "2013-09-12T17:04:23Z")
“You can’t do anything about the past, and tomorrow will be here soon enough,” Tom said presently. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1004 "2013-09-12T17:10:35Z")
“Mary Richards was the finest employee I ever had,” Lou granted. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1005 "2013-09-12T18:17:23Z")
“Oh, Mr. Grant!”, Mary said spunkily. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1006 "2013-09-12T19:04:30Z")
“The tornado scattered my stuff all over the neighborhood, but I got it all back”, Tom recollected. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1007 "2013-09-12T19:23:30Z")
“You shouldn’t do that, but I won’t do anything to stop you,” Tom allowed. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1008 "2013-09-12T21:29:48Z")
“I love you with all my hefearart,” said Tom with fear in his heart. mmm ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1009 "2013-09-12T21:30:54Z")
“I finally got the bleeding to stop!” said Tom, staunchly. ---
**Author:** ![Ronald\_Raygun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c67d28/32.png) [@Ronald\_Raygun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ronald_Raygun)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1010 "2013-09-12T23:22:29Z")
“I’m sorry. I swear this has never happened to me before…”, Tom said softly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1011 "2013-09-13T00:04:05Z")
“Grghrhwht!” said Tom, tongue in cheek. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1012 "2013-09-13T01:22:10Z")
“I’ll just put my winning poker hand down, face up in front of me” said Tom straightforwardly. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1013 "2013-09-13T10:43:09Z")
“Let’s get high,” Cheech & Tom said jointly. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1014 "2013-09-13T12:04:00Z")
“What’s the number one soft drink of the fairy kingdom?” asked Tom spritely. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1015 "2013-09-13T16:08:39Z")
“Would you like a glass of nonalcoholic ale?” Tom asked gingerly. ---
**Author:** ![Homo\_litoralis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homo\_litoralis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homo_litoralis)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1016 "2013-09-13T17:08:21Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “I finally got the bleeding to stop!” said Tom, staunchly. “But I lost both legs below the knee in the war,” Tom said defeatedly. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1017 "2013-09-13T17:53:49Z")
“If only we could stop these colours from running,” Tom said mordantly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1018 "2013-09-13T17:57:28Z")
“Going once, do I hear a raise on $25,000 for Hitler’s skull?”, asked Tom morbidly. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1019 "2013-09-13T23:02:46Z")
“This African water is warm,” said Tom, in denial. mmm ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2013, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1020 "2013-09-15T16:14:43Z")
“I’m stripping this top layer of grass and soil to transplant into someone’s yard” said Tom, sodding off. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=50) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=52)