# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 52
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2013, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1021 "2013-09-15T18:12:39Z")
“I knew there were at least a thousand of these!” Tom said grandly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2013, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1022 "2013-09-15T18:25:26Z")
“I’m just filled with the Holy Spirit!” Tom said charismatically. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2013, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1023 "2013-09-15T22:30:41Z")
“No hot cross buns for me, I’ll have the cherry,” said Tom piously. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2013, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1024 "2013-09-16T02:08:31Z")
“So you’re saying ‘China Grove’ and ‘What a Fool Believes’ are your all-time favorite songs?” Tom asked dubiously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2013, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1025 "2013-09-16T02:30:04Z")
“I can do a dead-on Sinatra impersonation”, said Tom, being perfectly frank. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2013, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1026 "2013-09-16T03:06:21Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “So you’re saying ‘China Grove’ and ‘What a Fool Believes’ are your all-time favorite songs?” Tom asked dubiously. > [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “I can do a dead-on Sinatra impersonation”, said Tom, being perfectly frank. “Impersonating a dead person isn’t really all that hard” said Tom dubi-dubi-du-iously. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2013, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1027 "2013-09-16T12:24:45Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > “Impersonating a dead person isn’t really all that hard” said Tom dubi-dubi-du-iously. “This is a great swiftie coming this late in the game,” Tom said askance. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2013, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1028 "2013-09-16T12:51:52Z")
“What should I do is my uncle won’t give me the correct answer?” said Tom askance. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2013, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1029 "2013-09-16T13:23:44Z")
“Of course I read liberal websites,” Tom huffed. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2013, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1030 "2013-09-16T13:27:00Z")
“What do you mean ‘Global warming is real’?” asked Tom outfoxed. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2013, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1031 "2013-09-16T16:31:53Z")
“I said not to tase me, Bro!” said Tom, stunned. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2013, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1032 "2013-09-16T17:02:30Z")
“The Mafia, the CIA, and the Cubans were all in on it” said Tom, conspiratorially. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2013, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1033 "2013-09-16T17:10:55Z")
“How could this company have been started in a _prison_?” asked Tom, confounded. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2013, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1034 "2013-09-16T17:13:42Z")
“How could this company have been started at a golf course?” asked Tom, profoundly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2013, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1035 "2013-09-16T18:42:18Z")
“Can you believe the nerve of that enemy sniper?” Tom shot back. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1036 "2013-09-17T06:17:52Z")
“This show is a lemon!” said Tina feyly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1037 "2013-09-17T19:04:24Z")
“I’m sick of talking about ‘enhanced interrogation techniques’!” Tom said tormentedly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1038 "2013-09-17T19:16:21Z")
“Can you believe they caught that murderer _reading a dictionary_?” said Tom, perplexed. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1039 "2013-09-18T00:31:22Z")
“I’ve been posting on Wikipedia just about hourly,” Tom said contentedly. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1040 "2013-09-18T10:44:17Z")
“And most other people’s contributions are _rubbish_,” he added discontentendly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=51) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=53)