# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 54
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2013, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1061 "2013-09-23T00:48:01Z")
“I’m going to get my revenge on whoever said that” said Tom, smoldering. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1062 "2013-09-23T01:58:12Z")
“All those stories about smoking being bad for your health are bullshit,” Tom flared. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2013, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1063 "2013-09-23T13:50:14Z")
“And people who believe in second hand smoke are stupid,” Tom piped up. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2013, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1064 "2013-09-23T14:20:58Z")
“I knew I shouldn’t have had my operation at Plastik Surgeons ‘R’ Us,” Tom said, his face falling. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2013, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1065 "2013-09-23T14:39:18Z")
“I was surprised when I went there for lasik surgery,” said Tom, his eyeballs popping out. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2013, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1066 "2013-09-23T14:42:33Z")
“Those bullies on the beach made me eat sand!” said Tom, gritting his teeth. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2013, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1067 "2013-09-23T15:31:26Z")
“I don’t have time to be crucified!” Tom said crossly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2013, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1068 "2013-09-23T16:24:10Z")
“I speak Esperanto like a native!” said Tom artificially. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2013, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1069 "2013-09-23T16:50:33Z")
“No, I don’t know if I prefer Michelangelo or Da Vinci”, Tom dodged artfully. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2013, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1070 "2013-09-23T18:41:06Z")
“I just love Gershwin, don’t you?” Tom said rhapsodically. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2013, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1071 "2013-09-23T18:53:42Z")
“Space is filled with a substance through which light must pass” said almost every physicist before Michelson and Morley, ethereally. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2013, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1072 "2013-09-23T21:12:17Z")
“I’m gonna take care of that bunny” said Glenn Close, boiling mad. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2013, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1073 "2013-09-23T21:19:14Z")
“That falling apple gave me an idea” said Sir Isaac Newton, with gravitas. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1074 "2013-09-24T01:28:47Z")
“I don’t think we can have sex,” Tom said limply. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1075 "2013-09-24T03:48:33Z")
“I’m not sure what would’ve happened if Anthony Weiner had been elected mayor of NYC,” Tom said dangerously. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1076 "2013-09-24T10:45:44Z")
“You shouldn’t make fun of people’s hair colour,” Tom said gingerly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1077 "2013-09-24T13:51:02Z")
“I’d love to see you wearing that new babydoll, baby!” Tom intimated. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1078 "2013-09-24T19:57:56Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “No, I don’t know if I prefer Michelangelo or Da Vinci”, Tom dodged artfully. “I prefer Oliver Twist,” sai Tom, still artfully dodging. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1079 "2013-09-24T20:01:59Z")
“My allergies are keeping my creative endeavors to a minimum,” said Tom apollengetically. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2013, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1080 "2013-09-25T00:35:32Z")
“I’m interested only in galaxies undergoing exceptionally high rates of star formation!” astronomer Tom burst out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=53) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=55)