# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 58
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1141 "2013-10-09T16:15:26Z")
“You mean you don’t even remember Dudley Do-right’s archenemy?” asked Tom snidely. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1142 "2013-10-09T18:00:21Z")
“I suppose I have no choice but to jump out this 93rd-story window,” Tom said fatalistically. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1143 "2013-10-09T18:07:36Z")
“I’m glad I saved Mr. Wheaton here before that mob of old ST:TNG fans could mob him,” said Tom, showing his free Wil. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1144 "2013-10-10T02:39:19Z")
“They told me to stop flogging a dead horse, but they said nothing about not cooking it!” say Tom heatedly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1145 "2013-10-10T04:35:53Z")
“Did you know that the Nixons had only daughters?” Tom asked meretriciously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1146 "2013-10-10T12:55:41Z")
“I used to have ten donkeys, but one broke a leg and I put him down”, said Tom, asininely. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1147 "2013-10-10T13:00:09Z")
“I have a family of crows nesting in my head,” said Tom with murder in his eyes. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1148 "2013-10-10T13:13:04Z")
“I have a nice business bringing foreign recordings into the US” said Tom, importuning. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1149 "2013-10-10T17:22:25Z")
“I always get straight A’s,” said Hester sadly but wisely. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1150 "2013-10-10T21:32:27Z")
“Guess what I’m eating? Beans! Can you smell them?” asked Tom, astutely. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1151 "2013-10-11T01:55:56Z")
“Here I come!” said Tom entrancingly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1152 "2013-10-11T03:33:04Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “Guess what I’m eating? Beans! Can you smell them?” asked Tom, astutely. God help me, I laughed. “I’ve eaten a gallon of beans and drank a quart of pickle juice!” Tom said explosively. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1153 "2013-10-11T08:56:57Z")
“It turns out there wasn’t a second gunman in Dealey Plaza,” said Tom knowledgeably. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1154 "2013-10-11T15:05:56Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “Did you know that the Nixons had only daughters?” Tom asked meretriciously. “And the same goes for Dubya,” said Tom, generously. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1155 "2013-10-11T15:31:09Z")
“Today is National Coming Out Day” said Tom gaily. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1156 "2013-10-11T15:40:12Z")
“Oooh, that ground meat pie was simply _fabulous_!” said Tom, mincingly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1157 "2013-10-11T16:33:18Z")
“My raid on the butcher shop was a success!” Tom said, ham-handedly. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1158 "2013-10-11T17:44:50Z")
“I may have had my doubts about cannibalism, but by gum, I knuckled down and ate all that I physically could,” said Tom manfully. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1159 "2013-10-11T17:51:34Z")
“Well… it’s kind of like… an oval…” said Tom elliptically. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1160 "2013-10-11T18:25:16Z")
“I am so enjoying this new fad of people dressing in cartoon animal costumes to attract sex partners”, Tom inferred. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=57) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=59)