# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 61
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1201 "2013-10-25T12:12:23Z")
“Vote for Pete! Vote for Pete! Vote for Pete!” shouted Tom repeatedly. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1202 "2013-10-25T14:04:08Z")
“I forgot to zip my fly” Tom petered out. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1203 "2013-10-25T14:21:33Z")
“Mine is shaped like a tuberous vegetable”, said Tom, dictatorially. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1204 "2013-10-25T14:53:40Z")
“You’re going to have to tell the judge whether you’re guilty or not to all these charges,” Atty. Tom said pleasantly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1205 "2013-10-25T14:58:54Z")
“Why, not guilty, of course”, said Tom, innocently. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1206 "2013-10-25T15:05:08Z")
“Zombies ate my brains,” said Tom absent-mindedly. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1207 "2013-10-25T15:25:20Z")
“I feel like death warmed over,” Tom said gravely. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1208 "2013-10-25T15:51:52Z")
“The bitch gave me crotch lice”, Tom said crabbily. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1209 "2013-10-25T22:56:25Z")
“I insist on breeding my prize terrier,” Tom said doggedly. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2013, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1210 "2013-10-26T00:24:29Z")
“Smokers really burn me up!” Tom fumed. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2013, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1211 "2013-10-26T03:50:35Z")
“I would never let that book be published in my city,” Tom said censoriously. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1212 "2013-10-27T01:30:02Z")
“I don’t think I can’t fit any more windows in the back of my truck” said Tom panefully. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1213 "2013-10-27T02:19:54Z")
“So far this week I’ve seen _As You Like It, Our Town, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof_ and _Proof_,” Tom said playfully. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1214 "2013-10-27T17:32:10Z")
“I just heard that Marcia Wallace died” said Tom, krab(apple)ily. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1215 "2013-10-28T02:15:16Z")
“I really hate the dashboard on your car,” Tom said disconsolately. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1216 "2013-10-28T02:34:50Z")
“Now that I’ve seen her in person, there’s no way I’m going to date her” said Tom flatly. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1217 "2013-10-28T02:45:50Z")
“No, really, Canopus is very bright in the sky, but it doesn’t quite make it as tops in apparent magnitude,” said Tom, and then he insisted that he was being totally [serious](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sirius). ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1218 "2013-10-28T02:51:28Z")
“I’ve missed every one of Professor Doe’s classes for the last two weeks,” muttered Tom, absently. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1219 "2013-10-28T03:25:28Z")
“What site am I reading here? I get so confused” said Tom dopily. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1220 "2013-10-28T13:58:08Z")
“Of course Cecil is real,” Tom said, playing it straight. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=60) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=62)