# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 62
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1221 "2013-10-28T16:26:59Z")
“That’s enough catching up on the columns! I’m going to see if there are any cool posted messages here,” said Tom, bored. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1222 "2013-10-28T16:32:26Z")
“I’m going to drill some holes in this piece of wood like I usually do” said Tom, boring as always. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1223 "2013-10-28T17:27:49Z")
“I had a very, very long conversation with the commanding general of the Army of Northern Virginia last night; dunno why he kept looking at his pocket watch,” Tom said boringly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1224 "2013-10-28T17:37:30Z")
“Did I ever tell you about the time I fought alongside the British against the Transvaal?” asked Tom boeringly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1225 "2013-10-28T18:04:03Z")
“Let’s see. Was I at any gay club during any riot. I don’t remember” said Tom, stonewalling. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1226 "2013-10-28T19:27:36Z")
“I’ve always enjoyed the company of little men who ride horses,” Tom said jocularly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1227 "2013-10-28T19:43:20Z")
“Great, another Groban album is out!” Tom joshed. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1228 "2013-10-28T19:54:42Z")
“Our stolen priceless paintings are still missing”, said the curator of the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, artlessly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1229 "2013-10-28T20:19:16Z")
“I want to help your company have a consistent appearance in all its printed materials, Mr. Luthor,” said Tom lexicographically. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1230 "2013-10-28T20:43:54Z")
“\*Auf wiedersehen!” \*said Heidi to another losing contestant on “Project Runway”, Klumsily. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1231 "2013-10-28T20:51:04Z")
“I mean, as one human being to another, we need to help each other get by,” said Phil anthropically. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1232 "2013-10-28T20:52:05Z")
“The orchestra’s tuning, so the concert must be about to start”, said Phil harmonically. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1233 "2013-10-29T16:43:28Z")
“It’s unbelievable, you cannot tell my painting is of an elephant chasing a prehistoric hunter!” muttered Tom, abstractly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1234 "2013-10-29T16:49:36Z")
“I’ve just taken up stamp collecting as a hobby,” said Phil lately. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1235 "2013-10-29T17:13:48Z")
“I’m going to very quiet and tactful when I explain to this young math student the difference between continuous and discrete.”, said Prof. P., discreetly. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1236 "2013-10-29T21:54:08Z")
“I’ll help these prisoners down the stairs” said Tom condescendingly. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2013, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1237 "2013-10-30T00:51:39Z")
“Kali Ma! Kali Ma,” Tom heartwrenchingly chanted. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2013, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1238 "2013-10-30T02:44:31Z")
“I just want to wash my hands and put on sterile clothes and a mask now,” Tom said clinically. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2013, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1239 "2013-10-30T12:34:30Z")
“The Merriam-Webster dictionary is THE final authority on the meanings of words”, said Tom, definitively. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2013, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1240 "2013-10-30T20:21:07Z")
“Braaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnsssss!” groaned Tom cerebrally. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=61) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=63)