# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 63
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2013, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1241 "2013-10-30T21:01:46Z")
“I just found another way to show the Pythagorean Theorem is correct”, said Tom, reprovingly. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2013, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1242 "2013-10-30T22:44:26Z")
“I just fell off this high-backed wooden sofa,” Tom said, unsettled. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2013, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1243 "2013-10-30T23:07:45Z")
“You are a delicious type A, but I need type O to live.” Count Tom muttered in vain. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1244 "2013-10-31T00:55:00Z")
“I can never find an ethernet cable when I need one!” said Tom wirelessly. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1245 "2013-10-31T13:04:09Z")
“Are you really gonna’ accuse me of sex with a farm animal?” asked Tom, sheepishly. :o ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1246 "2013-10-31T13:11:47Z")
“You know I can’t be held accountable for what happens under a full moon,” said Tom wolfishly. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1247 "2013-10-31T15:34:22Z")
“I must say, that Nura Nal from Naltor is not only the best possible candidate for a new [Legionnaire](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legion_of_superheroes), she’s also the hottest number I’ve met since I broke up with [my](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thom_Kallor) home world sweetie,” said [del]Tom[/del] _ **Thom** _, [dreamily](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nura_Nal). ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1248 "2013-11-01T00:16:41Z")
> [@Trans Fat Og](#): > > “Are you really gonna’ accuse me of sex with a farm animal?” asked Tom, sheepishly. :o “Is that a chicken joke?” asked Ruth buzzily. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1249 "2013-11-01T00:53:29Z")
“Braaaaaainsssss really do give me all of the essential vitamins and minerals I need,” Zombie Tom said nutritiously. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1250 "2013-11-01T14:49:53Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > “Is that a chicken joke?” asked Ruth buzzily. 🙂 “I would never do anything _ **baaaad** _ with a chicken,” insisted Tom, doggedly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1251 "2013-11-01T14:57:20Z")
““Is that a chicken joke?” asked Jo Anne worley.” said the Prof. nitpickingly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1252 "2013-11-01T15:02:24Z")
“Verrrry interesting. But shtupid” said Johnson, Artely. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1253 "2013-11-01T16:34:40Z")
(I was just looking over his shoulder, without meaning to pressure him.) “I’m trying as fast as I can to come up with another post on this thread!” came Tom, swiftly! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1254 "2013-11-01T16:43:52Z")
" 'Ow’m I supposed to lose weight if they don’t tell me the trans fat content of this 'am?" asked Tom 'oggily. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1255 "2013-11-01T18:46:10Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > " 'Ow’m I supposed to lose weight if they don’t tell me the trans fat content of this 'am?" asked Tom 'oggily. O, my OG, no! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1256 "2013-11-01T19:17:42Z")
“:)😕:eek::mad::rolleyes:🆒:p;):D:o:dubious::(:smack:”, Tom emoted. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1257 "2013-11-01T20:09:47Z")
“No, I still haven’t gotten around to reading that book, _Atlas_-whatever,” Tom _Shrugged_! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1258 "2013-11-01T20:13:43Z")
“I’m not at all envious,” said Tom. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1259 "2013-11-01T20:19:39Z")
“You’re barking up the wrong tree,” Tom said doggedly. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1260 "2013-11-01T23:52:50Z")
“,” Tom mimed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=62) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=64)