# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 64
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2013, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1261 "2013-11-02T03:39:18Z")
“I’m here to tell you about gas, solar, nuclear and wind power,” Tom said energetically. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2013, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1262 "2013-11-02T09:57:50Z")
“That’s the worst sandwich I’ve ever hard! I’m going to go in and tell off that store” Tom deliberated. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2013, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1263 "2013-11-02T10:29:06Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > “That’s the worst sandwich I’ve ever hard! I’m going to go in and tell off that store” Tom deliberated. “Very good,” said Tom, askance. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2013, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1264 "2013-11-02T14:54:48Z")
“My wife will not join any women’s movement” said Tom, deliberately. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2013, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1265 "2013-11-02T19:10:53Z")
“As an expert in homeopathy, I can assure you that this concoction will actually become more powerful as I repeatedly water it down,” muttered Tom, weakly. (And to repeat a joke I used elsewhere on the SDMB, “quite diluted” is how some of his friends quietly viewed him.) ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2013, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1266 "2013-11-02T19:30:08Z")
“No, I have not brought home ‘_two_’ :rolleyes: pheasants,” said Tom abrasively. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2013, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1267 "2013-11-02T21:35:33Z")
“I love making maple syrup, don’t you?” said Tom, sappily. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2013, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1268 "2013-11-03T01:53:34Z")
“You don’t have to tell me the difference between igneous, sedimentary and metamorphic,” Tom said stonily. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2013, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1269 "2013-11-03T07:39:12Z")
“In India, this recipe would be made using ghee,” Tom clarified. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2013, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1270 "2013-11-03T08:59:16Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “You don’t have to tell me the difference between igneous, sedimentary and metamorphic,” Tom said stonily. “Since you know so much about geology, perhaps you can tell the class about a metamorphic rock that might result from applying heat and pressure to, say, granite,” Tom’s teacher said [nicely](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gneiss). ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2013, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1271 "2013-11-03T15:38:19Z")
“Tuff schist!” said Tom, getting meta. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2013, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1272 "2013-11-03T18:22:00Z")
“I’m putting on my [“bright”](http://www.nbcnews.com/entertainment/don-we-now-our-bright-apparel-6C9593584) apparel” said Don, gayly. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2013, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1273 "2013-11-03T23:19:09Z")
“Can’t we ring all the bells one after another?” Tom appealed. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2013, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1274 "2013-11-04T17:54:46Z")
> [@Trans Fat Og](#): > > “As an expert in homeopathy, I can assure you that this concoction will actually become more powerful as I repeatedly water it down,” muttered Tom, weakly. Also: “I’m… pretty certain… that we will soon be able to double the frequency of our twice-a-month company newsletter,” muttered Tom, weakly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2013, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1275 "2013-11-04T18:20:22Z")
“Everything - and I mean _everything_ - that goes through this freight station weighs exactly 2000 pounds,” Tom said monotonously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2013, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1276 "2013-11-04T18:28:12Z")
“I am a civilized man from the capital of Timor Leste”, said Tom, diligently. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2013, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1277 "2013-11-04T20:56:06Z")
“I’m conducting a radio interview with a vampire: you know, Lestat, more music,” said Tom bloodlessly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2013, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1278 "2013-11-05T23:49:03Z")
“I’m going to write a letter to Mt Romney, telling him how much I admire his decision to join the Navy’s Silent Service after his humiliating defeat” Tom submitted submissively. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2013, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1279 "2013-11-06T01:50:30Z")
“Looks like the brain surgeons got sloppy again,” Tom said absent-mindedly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2013, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1280 "2013-11-06T14:01:56Z")
“This is the age of knowing what I’m made of” said Tom, dysfunctionally. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=63) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=65)