# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 65
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2013, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1281 "2013-11-06T15:35:01Z")
“I’ve got my underwear, shirt, socks and shoes; what else do I need?” Tom panted. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2013, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1282 "2013-11-06T15:39:44Z")
“Let me repeat the stock symbol for Murphy Oil”, Tom murmured. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2013, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1283 "2013-11-06T15:53:05Z")
“They’ll never know this is box mac & cheese,” winked Tom craftily. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2013, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1284 "2013-11-06T22:58:28Z")
“Thomasina, the correct formula for the [stuff](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Table_sugar) you pour on your grapefruit is C12 H22 O11,” said Tom sweetly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2013, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1285 "2013-11-07T01:29:47Z")
“What did you say when you realised that person wearing a tee shirt over a fur coat was your best friend?” asked Tom terminally. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1286 "2013-11-08T08:32:01Z")
“I am deeply sorry that someone shocked you with my electric rifle, and I myself would never do such a thing,” said Tom fraternally. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1287 "2013-11-08T14:22:51Z")
> [@fanganga](#): > > “I am deeply sorry that someone shocked you with my electric rifle, and I myself would never do such a thing,” said Tom fraternally. I don’t get it. “Just give me a heapin’ helpin’ of _maror_,” Tom said bitterly. > **[Maror](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maror)** > > Maror (Hebrew: מָרוֹר mārōr) are the bitter herbs eaten at the Passover Seder in keeping with the biblical commandment "with bitter herbs they shall eat it." (Exodus 12:8). The Maror is one of the symbolic foods placed on the Passover Seder plate. > In some listings of the 613 commandments, such as the commentary of Joseph Babad on the Sefer ha-Chinuch, the biblical obligation to consume maror is included within the commandment to consume the meat of the sacrificial Passover sacrifice. > Ever sin... ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1288 "2013-11-08T14:57:14Z")
“I feel myself to be at one with Cedars-Sinai Medical Center”, said Tom, showing his hospitality. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1289 "2013-11-08T15:12:19Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > I don’t get it. Might be a bit too much of a stretch, but: TASER stands for Thomas A. Swift’s Electric Rifle, fraternally means like a brother, and “Don’t tase me, bro!” is a catchphrase, ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1290 "2013-11-08T16:12:17Z")
“I have no idea what I’m shooting my electric rifle at” said Tom, aimlessly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1291 "2013-11-08T16:46:46Z")
“Clone me, Dr. Memory?” asked Tom clownishly. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1292 "2013-11-09T18:31:07Z")
“You think I haven’t _ **tried** _ to beat this stupid nicotine habit?” Tom fumed! ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1293 "2013-11-09T19:15:51Z")
“I’m still smoking like an old locomotive!” Tom steamed. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1294 "2013-11-10T23:36:51Z")
“Doc, every time I take this medicine you prescribed, I need to go to the toilet!” said Tom loopilly. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1295 "2013-11-11T00:14:44Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “I’m still smoking like an old locomotive!” Tom steamed. 🙂 “I still say _Cracked_ is a second-rate humor mazagine,” shouted Tom, madly. (Yes, I know I said _ **mazagine** _. That is quite proper, as long-term fans know. [Cracked.com](http://Cracked.com) is now their wesbite!) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1296 "2013-11-11T03:12:39Z")
“I think Trans Fat is ready for Harvard,” lampooned Tom. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1297 "2013-11-11T03:54:01Z")
> [@fanganga](#): > > Might be a bit too much of a stretch, but: TASER stands for Thomas A. Swift’s Electric Rifle, fraternally means like a brother, and “Don’t tase me, bro!” is a catchphrase, Ah, thanks. “You can’t release a drug like that without seeing how it works on _people_!” Tom protested. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1298 "2013-11-11T16:28:33Z")
“Why did I promise to take my kids to see the Smurfs?” asked Tom, bluely. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1299 "2013-11-11T18:29:19Z")
“Those Spanish hookers are the filthiest and nastiest!” said Tom, disputatively. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1300 "2013-11-11T19:03:37Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > “I think Trans Fat is ready for Harvard,” lampooned Tom. 😃 “You know, I’m beginning to like this Pepperwinkle fellow,” “Tom” professed! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=64) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=66)