# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 66
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1301 "2013-11-12T02:07:40Z")
“I’ve just discovered some new islands, right near the Aland Islands! Whatever shall I call them?” said Tom blandly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1302 "2013-11-12T04:59:50Z")
“I’ll be going to a big meeting of _Star Trek_ fans in Los Angeles next week,” Tom said laconically. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1303 "2013-11-12T08:11:43Z")
(Very good! 🆒[noparse])[/noparse] “From the edge of the green you shouldn’t need to putt at all,” Tom chipped in. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1304 "2013-11-12T08:35:51Z")
“Everyone ante up!” Tom chipped in. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1305 "2013-11-12T13:28:41Z")
“Listen! Big Ben is sounding the noon bells!” Tom chimed in. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1306 "2013-11-12T13:31:02Z")
“Did you know they renamed Big Ben the Elizabeth Tower for her 60th (Diamond) anniversary as queen?” asked Tom jubilantly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1307 "2013-11-12T15:41:32Z")
“Nothing like a stroll on the surface of Mercury to begin your tour of the Solar System!” Tom said warmly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1308 "2013-11-13T03:55:14Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > “Did you know they renamed Big Ben the Elizabeth Tower for her 60th (Diamond) anniversary as queen?” asked Tom jubilantly. “Did you know that Big Ben is the largest bell within the tower, not the tower itself, and so no such ‘renaming’ ever took place?” said Tom campanologically. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1309 "2013-11-13T09:44:43Z")
“I did not know that. What am I supposed to do, question the very creeping things that go upon the ground?” said Tom, askance. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1310 "2013-11-13T22:22:13Z")
“Did you know that those little birds have the same name as women’s breasts?” Tom tittered. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1311 "2013-11-13T22:26:47Z")
“And the meaning of the Grand Tentons Mountain Range?” Tom said, keeping me abreast. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1312 "2013-11-13T23:53:32Z")
“No, no, I was just reading your T-shirt! I swear!” said Tom, busted. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1313 "2013-11-13T23:58:59Z")
“Why can’t we have some equal-opportunity jokes about external anatomy?” said Tom, testily. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1314 "2013-11-14T01:12:12Z")
“This new bra I’ve bought you is supposed to do wonders for keeping your shape.” Tom informed me. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1315 "2013-11-14T07:08:25Z")
“Being a Tolkien fan is one thing, but who goes around memorising the names of Thorin’s sister and the dwarf who was King after him?” said Tom disdainfully. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1316 "2013-11-14T16:33:19Z")
“Am I too late to get into the exterior body parts conversation?” Tom butted in. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1317 "2013-11-14T16:55:51Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “Am I too late to get into the exterior body parts conversation?” Tom butted in. 😃 “And the subject of s_x_sm _ **reared** _ its ugly head,” “Tom” pointed out. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1318 "2013-11-14T17:02:37Z")
“You have to be well armed to come into this thread, I see” said Tom, handing off the next hint. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1319 "2013-11-14T17:55:25Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “You have to be well armed to come into this thread, I see” said Tom, handing off the next hint. “Thumb fun!” countered Tom, jerkingly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1320 "2013-11-14T20:52:32Z")
“So now we’re going to hear every penis nickname?” asked Tom, Dick, and Harry [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=65) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=67)