# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 67
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1321 "2013-11-14T20:54:01Z")
“I can think of a few that aren’t on your list,” said Willy cockily. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1322 "2013-11-15T02:00:48Z")
“That’s nothing, mine can talk!” said Lyndon’s johnson. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1323 "2013-11-15T03:24:46Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > “Being a Tolkien fan is one thing, but who goes around memorising the names of Thorin’s sister and the dwarf who was King after him?” said Tom disdainfully. :: golf clap :: “No damn doctor’s gonna tell me I can’t eat six double cheeseburgers and a huge pile of chili-cheese fries, and then smoke a pack o’ cigarettes!” Tom said sclerotically. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1324 "2013-11-15T14:32:18Z")
“An Englishman never calls them ‘potato chips’,” Tom said crisply. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1325 "2013-11-15T14:44:05Z")
“Po-tay-to, po-tah-to,” said Tom with a chip on his shoulder. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1326 "2013-11-15T14:54:05Z")
“On this thread, we’ll sacrifice anything - logic, usage, syntax, delicacy - for the chance of a laugh,” Tom offered. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1327 "2013-11-15T15:12:37Z")
“You can take away our syntax, but you can never take away our freedom!” Tom brainfarted. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1328 "2013-11-15T15:20:14Z")
“Thar she blows!” Tom wailed. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1329 "2013-11-15T15:31:21Z")
> [@Trans Fat Og](#): > > “On this thread, we’ll sacrifice anything - logic, usage, syntax, delicacy - for the chance of a laugh,” Tom offered. “But I only ever break the rules for a good reason,” Tom added syntactically. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1330 "2013-11-18T00:55:56Z")
“Do I have to threaten you with deadly force to get you to leave?” Tom shot back! ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1331 "2013-11-18T14:38:11Z")
“You’d better have a edam gouda reason!” said Tom, cheesily. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1332 "2013-11-18T16:40:41Z")
“So what if I like hanging around morgues and hoping for a zombie insurrection?” Tom asked ghoulishly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1333 "2013-11-18T16:51:33Z")
“Digital clocks just don’t make sense to me,” said Anna logically. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1334 "2013-11-18T18:02:19Z")
“I really need a good laxative” said Tom, analogously. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1335 "2013-11-18T18:06:24Z")
“We should get together and play more often,” said Ben, jammin’. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1336 "2013-11-18T19:11:14Z")
“I hate the pro football team that says it’s from New England,” Tom said unpatriotically. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1337 "2013-11-18T19:50:28Z")
“My organ transplant is really working out well,” said Tom wholeheartedly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1338 "2013-11-18T19:53:39Z")
> [@Trans Fat Og](#): > > “My organ transplant is really working out well,” said Tom wholeheartedly. “Well, I’m happy for YOU,” said Fred splenetically. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1339 "2013-11-18T19:55:28Z")
“Did you know the Cleveland football team, named for the color of feces, has never even \*been \*to the Super Bowl”? Earnest Byner fumbled to say. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1340 "2013-11-18T20:01:03Z")
“Oh, they’ve been there. They had good seats too,” Eli Manning intercepted. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=66) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=68)