# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 68
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1341 "2013-11-18T23:57:29Z")
“Now, honey, you know it takes a little while for the Viagra to work,” whispered Tom, softly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1342 "2013-11-19T05:19:08Z")
“I just have to tell you who my favorite children’s author/illustrator is!” Tom said scarily. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1343 "2013-11-19T08:55:34Z")
“You didn’t indicate the stress on that accent correctly” said Tom gravely. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1344 "2013-11-19T14:16:36Z")
“Why doesn’t everyone say ‘Merry Christmas’?”, asked Bill wryly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1345 "2013-11-19T14:39:59Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > “You didn’t indicate the stress on that accent correctly” said Tom gravely. “Mais oui, certainment je le fait correctment, monsieur” dirait Thomas, acutement. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1346 "2013-11-19T18:25:53Z")
“How the hell am I supposed to know what kind of small sailboats Jewish sailors might use?” Tom kvetched. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1347 "2013-11-19T20:42:08Z")
“It wouldn’t be a yawl like the Southerners sail”, Tom barked. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1348 "2013-11-20T04:19:17Z")
“No, I never leave my opponent only half-beaten” said Tom bashfully. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1349 "2013-11-20T12:12:50Z")
“I really let myself go after Spandau Ballet split up,” said Tom, unkempt. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1350 "2013-11-20T14:57:10Z")
“The world money supply is all controlled from Zurich,” Tom said gnomically. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1351 "2013-11-20T15:17:24Z")
“My dog’s better than your dog,” said Tom pettily. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1352 "2013-11-20T16:28:09Z")
“I’ve never eaten venison, grouse or pheasant, but I’m willing to give it a try,” Tom said gamely. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1353 "2013-11-20T16:37:49Z")
“I’m having an epileptic seizure on top of this mountain!” yelled Tom in a fit of pique. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1354 "2013-11-20T16:50:50Z")
“Give us an 'arf a Macintosh, luv,” said Tom 'appily. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1355 "2013-11-20T18:54:34Z")
“If I were a World War I infantryman, I certainly wouldn’t be sloppy when we had a picnic,” Tom said trenchantly. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1356 "2013-11-20T19:07:02Z")
“Cry pity, call strangely and mysteriously (11),” said Tom cryptically. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1357 "2013-11-20T19:11:30Z")
“I sure do like those old time radios” said Tom crosley. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1358 "2013-11-20T23:47:08Z")
“Okay, everybody has a favorite of their own. I still say, for unique superheroes, you can’t top Wolverine,” insisted Tom adamantly. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1359 "2013-11-21T02:24:37Z")
“Godard is my favorite director,” Tom said breathlessly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1360 "2013-11-21T03:24:25Z")
“Now tell me, my dear, why would you ever want crunchy peanut butter?” Tom asked smoothly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=67) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=69)