# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 70
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1381 "2013-11-25T15:30:24Z")
“Small non-stinging insects are even better,” said Tom nattily. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1382 "2013-11-25T15:45:44Z")
“I don’t think there’s any doubt who wrote the autobiography of the guy who provided the voice of the lead in the Disney film _Hercules_,” Tom said authoritatively. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1383 "2013-11-25T17:23:10Z")
“If it’s a question of Greek myth, I’d have a soft spot for Leander,” Tom said heroically. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1384 "2013-11-26T04:33:12Z")
“What brand of coffee will I put in this thing?” asked Tom [perk](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Percolator)[illy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Illy). ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1385 "2013-11-27T00:17:12Z")
“We’d better not be having pineapple for dessert again”, Tom said dolefully. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1386 "2013-11-27T00:22:26Z")
“Let’s see if I can convincingly depict a light-emitting diode by hand” Tom drawled. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1387 "2013-11-27T01:30:46Z")
“Phasers, lasers or masers - we’ve got 'em all, here!” Tom beamed. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1388 "2013-11-27T01:49:51Z")
“What do you mean, the warp engines are offline, Scotty? Go fix 'em!” said Captain Kirk, impulsively. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1389 "2013-11-28T00:19:52Z")
“This file just isn’t rough enough for the job!” rasped Tom. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1390 "2013-11-28T00:58:54Z")
“Do I really have to make lots of little shavings of cheese from this big block?” Tom grated. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1391 "2013-11-28T15:05:03Z")
“Look, the inmates are repelling from the walls,” Tom said condescendingly. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1392 "2013-11-28T15:10:38Z")
“Greetings in the name of Jesus, Mr Gilligan. I am a Nigerian attorney with control over substantial funds,” began Tom, convincingly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2013, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1393 "2013-11-29T02:46:36Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > “Look, the inmates are \*\*repelling \*\*from the walls,” Tom said condescendingly. “I’m not surprised, they repel me too!” replied Marx grouchily. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2013, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1394 "2013-11-29T05:19:39Z")
“Hey, my posterior is just as big as his!” Tom said with some asperity. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1395 "2013-12-01T05:27:56Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > “I’m not surprised, they repel me too!” replied Marx grouchily. “\_\_\_\_\_\_” Marx harped. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1396 "2013-12-06T00:47:55Z")
“I promise your money is secure in my lockbox” Tom vouchsafed. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1397 "2013-12-06T17:49:09Z")
“I don’t think that lockbox is as safe as you make out,” Tom cracked. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1398 "2013-12-06T18:32:46Z")
“Let me see if I can open it”, Tom said, pickily. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1399 "2013-12-07T04:38:20Z")
" … and finally, Wyoming." Tom stated. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2013, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1400 "2013-12-08T06:50:03Z")
“My new hydroxide mixture is particularly effective at preventing Formicidae infestation”, commented Tom, repellently. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=69) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=71)