# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 71
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2013, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1401 "2013-12-08T09:00:42Z")
“Saruman should have used his magic to keep Treebeard away from Isengard,” commented Tom, repellently. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2013, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1402 "2013-12-08T10:28:25Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > “Saruman should have used his magic to keep Treebeard away from Isengard,” commented Tom, repellently. Better on the “ent”, I’ll grant you, but I worked hard to get the “ly(e)” in there, too. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1403 "2013-12-09T03:10:15Z")
“The latest installment of The Sims has many layers, but seems to have fallen flat” said Tom simply. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1404 "2013-12-09T15:56:45Z")
“I’m going to name my baby daughter Holly Jolly” said Tom, Christmasy ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1405 "2013-12-09T15:59:53Z")
“What’s with all this four inches of snow I have to scrape off my car every December?” snarled Tom frostily. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1406 "2013-12-10T04:55:28Z")
“Watching that cartoon gave me whiplash!” said Tom snidely. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1407 "2013-12-14T17:42:10Z")
“I am very much afraid of this literary device of using Santa to stand for the entire Christmas season”, said Tom, claustrophobically. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1408 "2013-12-14T17:48:12Z")
“The king of the Roman gods is OK by me,” Tom said jovially. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1409 "2013-12-14T18:00:40Z")
“Actually, I know for certain I am the Roman god of the Forge,” said Tom, out of his Vulcan mind. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1410 "2013-12-14T23:42:37Z")
“Only I know where the ice cream has been stashed,” Tom said coolly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1411 "2013-12-15T00:29:27Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “I am very much afraid of this literary device of using Santa to stand for the entire Christmas season”, said Tom, claustrophobically. Oh, well done! That inspired: “I suppose an old salt could be described as a ‘child of the ocean’ but it wouldn’t be my preferred term” said Tom seasonally. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1412 "2013-12-15T19:14:38Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “The king of the Roman gods is OK by me,” Tom said jovially. Not to (seriously) put words in your mouth, but: “My imitation is the sincerest form of flattery,” Elendil’s Heir repeated. (See post #1366.) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1413 "2013-12-15T21:06:21Z")
“It’s official - this thread is too damn long!” Tom said repetitiously. “It’s official - this thread is too damn long!” Tom said repetitiously. “It’s official - this thread is too damn long!” Tom said repetitiously. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1414 "2013-12-15T23:44:51Z")
“I think I’ll just quit breathing then”, Tom said, with an air of resignation. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1415 "2013-12-15T23:51:52Z")
“If I put some mud on my schnozz maybe I can advance my position with Santa’s team,” said Rudolph brown-nosing. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1416 "2013-12-15T23:55:51Z")
“This onstage giggling will be the end of my acting career”, Tom corpsed. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1417 "2013-12-16T02:38:26Z")
“I’ve heard of Clan McGregor, and I’ve heard of Clan McDonald, but I’ve never heard of _that_ one” said Tom clandestinely. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1418 "2013-12-16T15:57:36Z")
“Looks like Olivia deHavilland won the bet” said Tom, sisterly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1419 "2013-12-17T02:51:14Z")
“England have no chance of winning this game now” said Tom testily. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1420 "2013-12-17T02:56:45Z")
“Drat it all, I’ve been put out yet again” said Tom, bowled over. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=70) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=72)