# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 76
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2014, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1501 "2014-01-20T00:00:43Z")
“I’m glad that island trip is over and a I have a major landmass to piss on again”, said Tom, incontinently. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2014, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1502 "2014-01-21T02:36:06Z")
“There I was standing on a thin neck of land connecting two larger landmasses, when I dropped my pen!” said Tom insularly. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2014, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1503 "2014-01-21T08:50:06Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > “I’m always confused by this phrase: does ‘golf clap’ mean genuine or sarcastic applause?” asked Colophon greenly. “My understanding is that it is genuinely appreciative,” said Dead Cat uncertainly. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2014, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1504 "2014-01-21T22:26:14Z")
“I’ll never get used to digital photography,” Tom said negatively. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1505 "2014-01-22T02:00:36Z")
“Me, a wise man from the East? I don’t even look like an Amerind.” said Tom imaginatively. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1506 "2014-01-22T15:16:23Z")
“Why isn’t there a bridge over this water?” asked Tom, troubledly ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1507 "2014-01-22T16:23:53Z")
“I am the priest that the King wants to be rid of,” said Thomas, turbulently. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1508 "2014-01-22T17:45:46Z")
“Won’t anyone think for just a moment of the extinct flightless birds of New Zealand?” Tom moaned. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1509 "2014-01-22T17:50:56Z")
“I can’t even talk about anatomical features of the common camel without interrupting myself with pirate speech,” Tom harrumped. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1510 "2014-01-23T00:56:31Z")
“Dyslexia only affects me when talking about seafood” said Tom calmly. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1511 "2014-01-23T13:25:07Z")
“What makes you think I can recite _Cider with Rosie_ in the style of a songbird?” asked Tom lorily. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1512 "2014-01-23T16:27:53Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > “Dyslexia only affects me when talking about seafood” said Tom calmly. Love it! “When it comes to pets, I don’t want a bird, a cat, a gerbil or an iguana,” Tom said doggedly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1513 "2014-01-23T21:23:36Z")
“I truly can’t help my kleptomania problem”, said Tom, taking things literally. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1514 "2014-01-24T00:59:29Z")
“I whisper my secrets to the tree shepherds” said Tom confidently. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1515 "2014-01-24T14:53:21Z")
“This method of showing further-away objects as smaller, with vanishing points, has added a third dimension to my paintings”, said Brunelleschi, putting things in perspective. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1516 "2014-01-24T16:14:19Z")
“I hope my lisp won’t affect my Madness impersonation,” said Tom thuggishly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1517 "2014-01-24T16:46:02Z")
“That team wasn’t supposed to win the game!” Tom said, upset. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1518 "2014-01-24T21:23:06Z")
“I’ve noticed that I sweat like Muhammed Ali did early in his career,” said Tom perspicaciously. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2014, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1519 "2014-01-25T02:55:19Z")
“How should I know who would be two generations removed from some idiot who managed to show up at every significant event of the late 20th century?” Tom grumped. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2014, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1520 "2014-01-25T09:42:40Z")
“Yes, I’ll start a law practice with you,” Tom affirmed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=75) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=77)