# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 77
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2014, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1521 "2014-01-26T02:37:07Z")
“Watch out for that window!” Tom cracked. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2014, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1522 "2014-01-26T03:42:42Z")
“I reckon I could become a plumber,” Tom journeyed. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2014, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1523 "2014-01-26T03:59:07Z")
“In taxi. Wounded. Get Help.” Tom cabled. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2014, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1524 "2014-01-26T06:08:38Z")
“Moo”, Tom uttered. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2014, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1525 "2014-01-26T18:10:35Z")
“Oink,” Tom squealed. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2014, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1526 "2014-01-26T21:10:38Z")
“Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding! Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding! Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!” said the fox. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2014, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1527 "2014-01-28T00:55:44Z")
“There, now it’s all repaired,” Tom said, fixedly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2014, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1528 "2014-01-28T02:26:27Z")
“Waddaya mean I \*can \*do it? I \*did \*it!” Said Tom candidly. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1529 "2014-01-29T02:41:57Z")
It’s a member of family _Apopidae_, Tom said, swiftly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1530 "2014-01-29T04:27:48Z")
“$200! No, $300! $400!” said Tom morbidly. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1531 "2014-01-29T04:45:11Z")
“I sharpened my teeth,” Tom said, bitingly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1532 "2014-01-29T21:16:33Z")
“I’m never going to see Simon or Garfunkel” thought Tom, soundly but silently. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1533 "2014-01-29T23:41:06Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > “I’m never going to see Simon or Garfunkel” thought Tom, soundly but silently. “No ssage, srosemary, nor sthyme please” ssaid Tom sparsely. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1534 "2014-01-29T23:47:36Z")
“My guitar has two necks,” Tom said, fretfully. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2014, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1535 "2014-01-30T13:24:24Z")
“I’m skating in a full circle in one direction, then in another one in the opposite direction”, said Tom, figuratively. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1536 "2014-01-31T00:32:58Z")
“These two LAN networks have finally been connected!” said Tom wanly. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1537 "2014-01-31T04:14:05Z")
“Hand me the controller,” Tom said, remotely. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1538 "2014-01-31T14:24:37Z")
“I don’t mind the monkeys flinging poo at me all that much, but I’m throwing those baboon turds right back at 'em”, said Tom, going apeshit. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1539 "2014-01-31T15:58:31Z")
“The version of ‘Goldilocks’ I learned as a child had a Papa, Mama, and \*two \*babies in the house”, said Tom, forbearingly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1540 "2014-01-31T20:58:44Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > “I’m never going to see Simon or Garfunkel” thought Tom, soundly but silently. > [@Askance](#): > > “No ssage, srosemary, nor sthyme please” ssaid Tom sparsely. “I am an island” said Tom, rockily. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=76) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=78)