# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 78
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1541 "2014-02-01T00:31:34Z")
“I’m the best DJ in the business,” Tom said, scratchily. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1542 "2014-02-01T02:53:22Z")
“I can and I did,” said Tom candidly. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1543 "2014-02-01T23:02:00Z")
“This lettuce is wilted,” Tom said, crisply. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2014, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1544 "2014-02-02T00:47:40Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > “Waddaya mean I \*can \*do it? I \*did \*it!” Said Tom candidly. > [@Esox\_Lucius](#): > > “I can and I did,” said Tom candidly. “Looking back 14 [anything] is just too hard” said Tom fortnightly. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2014, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1545 "2014-02-02T01:51:39Z")
☹ “Yeesh. That wasn’t even that long ago. Is my memory fading?” Tom asked forgetfully. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2014, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1546 "2014-02-02T14:50:37Z")
“I do NOT want a lefty hitter batting cleanup in MY lineup”, said Tom, forthrightly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2014, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1547 "2014-02-02T23:24:03Z")
“Why do they call them ‘Mounties’ when they mostly operate on flat land?” asked Tom plainly. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2014, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1548 "2014-02-03T05:15:03Z")
“His name is Trigger,” Tom said, hoarsely. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2014, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1549 "2014-02-03T17:43:55Z")
“I love to go to the canyon and make echoes of myself”, said Tom, resoundingly. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1550 "2014-02-04T00:27:58Z")
“This colander belonged to the founder of Philadelphia,” Tom said, pensively. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1551 "2014-02-04T00:32:45Z")
“I tried to vault but I have flatfeet” said Tom archly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1552 "2014-02-04T20:18:27Z")
“I have had my fill of these York winters”, said Tom, discontentedly. “I hear in Spain the sun is glorious.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2014, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1553 "2014-02-05T00:22:09Z")
“I completely understand how the Roman Catholic Church chooses its saints,” Tom said beatifically. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2014, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1554 "2014-02-05T01:50:07Z")
“Your allegation that I’m some sort of goblin, kobold or elf is just mischievous, if not plain false” implied Tom. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2014, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1555 "2014-02-06T21:47:30Z")
“I do not believe Mia Farrow” said Tom, woodenly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2014, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1556 "2014-02-06T23:23:44Z")
“I prefer to use abbreviations for logical operators, if and only if I have to” said Tom iffily. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2014, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1557 "2014-02-06T23:52:32Z")
“Yes, Ms Gordon fell out of the back of my convertible when I hit that bump at 65 MPH. And then I drove on. So what?” Tom asked ruthlessly. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2014, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1558 "2014-02-07T00:24:16Z")
“Mama made Mimi’s muumuu,” Tom murmured. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2014, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1559 "2014-02-07T00:58:02Z")
“Why did you play ‘taps’ backwards!” Tom spat. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2014, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1560 "2014-02-07T01:15:36Z")
“It isn’t just hens that scratch pictures in the dirt. A cock’ll doodle too,” Tom crowed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=77) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=79)