# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/141 "2013-07-12T02:08:41Z")
“You caught me. I did it,” Tom said guiltily. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/142 "2013-07-12T02:12:07Z")
“_ **GET THE F### OUTTA HERE!!!** _” Tom yelled politely. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/143 "2013-07-12T02:13:12Z")
“My constepation is really backing me up,” Tom said regularly. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/144 "2013-07-12T02:24:52Z")
“Never a dull moment,” Tom said sharply. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/145 "2013-07-12T03:04:46Z")
“After my protests, they’ll never dig for coal here!” said Tom determinedly. (IMO those anti-swifties ought to be in their own thread) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/146 "2013-07-12T03:08:00Z")
“Kirk was 'way better than Picard,” Tom said commandingly. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/147 "2013-07-12T03:13:39Z")
“This filet mignon is very tough,” Tom said tenderly. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/148 "2013-07-12T03:17:16Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > “After my protests, they’ll never dig for coal here!” said Tom determinedly. > > (IMO those anti-swifties ought to be in their own thread) Is that the way it’s supposed to be? OK, thanks, and… “I’ve been shot,” Tom said mortally. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/149 "2013-07-12T03:35:25Z")
From my nephew: “Voltaire was one of the greatest authors of all time,” Tom said candidly. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/150 "2013-07-12T03:51:29Z")
“This movie has too many explosions!” Tom bayed. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/151 "2013-07-12T03:55:31Z")
“I struggle with my faith and religion,” Tom said doubtfully. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/152 "2013-07-12T03:58:56Z")
“Cheap airfare killed the golden age of travel,” Tom railed. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/153 "2013-07-12T08:14:03Z")
“I followed Charlie here,” Tom chuckled. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/154 "2013-07-12T10:16:00Z")
“Wow - a first edition Spider-Man!” Tom marvelled. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/155 "2013-07-12T11:42:34Z")
"I can’t find anything to rhyme with ‘parsley!’ " said Tom sparsely. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/156 "2013-07-12T11:49:14Z")
“I think I broke my arm,” said Tom humorously. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/157 "2013-07-12T12:23:57Z")
“Now that my wife’s left me, let’s see who else is available,” Tom cruised. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/158 "2013-07-12T12:25:09Z")
“What’s on TV? Ah, good, \*Magnum, P.I.,” \*Tom selected. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/159 "2013-07-12T12:26:15Z")
“Well, that’s the way I want it, and I won’t back down,” said Tom pettily. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/160 "2013-07-12T12:35:37Z")
Prof. Pepperwinkle: > [@](#): > > “What’s on TV? Ah, good, Magnum, P.I.,” Tom selected. My new favorite. “It seems that there is a pattern to what makes a person turn criminal.” Tom contemplated. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=9)