# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 80
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2014, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1581 "2014-02-11T16:31:23Z")
“I’ll never get out of prison, but I can tell my family where I left the treasure - I’ll put it in the form of a poem so the guards won’t suspect”, said Tom, controversially. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2014, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1582 "2014-02-11T17:20:09Z")
“They stretched me to 9 feet on the rack,” Tom said longingly. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2014, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1583 "2014-02-11T19:43:17Z")
“I just blew up the Bee Gees!” Tom gibbered ludicrously. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2014, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1584 "2014-02-11T23:35:48Z")
“I’ll change my name to Edward in 12 months’ time” Tom yearned. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1585 "2014-02-13T18:23:32Z")
“I love ‘Sunshine on my Shoulders,’” Tom beamed. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2014, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1586 "2014-02-15T03:49:25Z")
“I’ll give you a thousand dollars for it!” said Tom grandly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2014, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1587 "2014-02-15T19:16:49Z")
“But it would have to be in fifties”, Tom granted. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2014, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1588 "2014-02-15T20:07:40Z")
" Dear Owl, I do like your Pussycat", Edward leered. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2014, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1589 "2014-02-15T23:31:06Z")
“I got hit in the head playing Bocci,” Tom bawled. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1590 "2014-02-16T00:26:33Z")
“Maybe we took take a trip to France,” Tom ventured. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1591 "2014-02-17T00:59:51Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > “Maybe we took take a trip to France,” Tom ventured. 'We should see our local suburbs first - I’ll show the way!" Tom burbled. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1592 "2014-02-17T01:15:33Z")
“Have you met my twin sister?” Tom asked fraternally. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1593 "2014-02-18T02:19:06Z")
“Hey…hey…hey…,” Tom echoed. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1594 "2014-02-18T03:10:08Z")
“I wish I knew the ancient name for the island now known as Sri Lanka” said Tom serendibitously. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1595 "2014-02-18T08:05:08Z")
(Nothing much wrong with “serendipitously” since that’s where the word comes from). “Look, a motorcycling insect!” Tom yelled triumphantly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1596 "2014-02-18T15:59:39Z")
“I just read that Niven and Pournelle first-contact classic on my Kindle,” Tom emoted. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1597 "2014-02-18T16:08:08Z")
“I hate having a cold”, said Tom, phlegmatically. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2014, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1598 "2014-02-19T00:53:15Z")
“I get all my _Formicidae_ from overseas” said Tom importantly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2014, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1599 "2014-02-19T02:09:27Z")
“I am joining my spritual brethren, the small, gnomelike creatures, in fighting for this cause”, said Tom with impunity. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2014, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1600 "2014-02-19T03:46:45Z")
“My opinions on the space program are strong but ever-changing,” Tom said mercurially. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=79) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=81)