# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 81
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2014, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1601 "2014-02-19T09:19:59Z")
“There’s nothing to stop me falling from this balcony onto those … things … the trains runs on” Tom railed. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1602 "2014-02-20T00:14:34Z")
“That’s my brother Kenneth,” Tom said, brokenly. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1603 "2014-02-20T01:07:24Z")
“At last, I’m going to get my G.E.D.,” Tom said finally. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1604 "2014-02-20T03:12:33Z")
“Noooooooooooooooo!” Tom said, morosely. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1605 "2014-02-20T14:33:34Z")
“I cannot remember the real name of the Beatles’s drummer” said Richard, starkly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1606 "2014-02-20T17:08:29Z")
“I’m charging more per hour on this Internet project than I ever did for something on paper”, Tom elaborated. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1607 "2014-02-20T17:39:35Z")
“My name is not Kenneth and I don’t know the frequency!” said Dan, rather upset. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2014, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1608 "2014-02-21T01:42:25Z")
“If that referendum goes through, I don’t know what currency Scotland will use” Tom expounded. > [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “I’m charging more per hour on this Internet project than I ever did for something on paper”, Tom elaborated. Nice! ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2014, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1609 "2014-02-21T04:27:22Z")
“What a gorgeous falcon,” Tom said, rapturously. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2014, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1610 "2014-02-22T06:48:10Z")
“I’m going to try and sell this bezoar I just noisily coughed up” Tom hawked. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2014, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1611 "2014-02-22T18:49:10Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > “I cannot remember the real name of the Beatles’s drummer” said Richard, starkly. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2014, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1612 "2014-02-23T13:36:30Z")
“I really laughed when Oprah fell on her big, fat sass” Tom sniggered. Yes, straight to hell on that one. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2014, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1613 "2014-02-23T18:41:16Z")
“I have no respect for that sort of post at all”, said Tom, being niggardly with his praise. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2014, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1614 "2014-02-23T21:56:14Z")
“Stop making fun of eight balls,” Tom said, blackly. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2014, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1615 "2014-02-23T22:27:01Z")
“I once knew an evil chinaman,” said Tom, wickedly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1616 "2014-02-24T15:24:33Z")
“And I love Gregory McGuire’s books,” continued Tom, still wickedly. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1617 "2014-02-24T17:15:19Z")
“Make mine Guinness!” Tom said stoutheartedly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1618 "2014-02-25T02:40:22Z")
"It annoys me that the Marx brothers’ first names end in ‘o’ " Tom harped grouchily. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1619 "2014-02-25T04:25:05Z")
^ Tom gets a chuckle from that post. “You can say that again,” he remarks. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1620 "2014-02-27T00:38:35Z")
“You lose some, too. Just not this one,” Tom said, winsomely. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=80) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=82)