# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 82
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1621 "2014-02-27T00:49:19Z")
“That is the worst case of influenza I’ve ever seen!” said Tom superfluously. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1622 "2014-02-27T02:16:14Z")
“I want ALL the Valentine’s Day candy for myself, and I mean ALL of it,” Tom said cupiditously. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1623 "2014-02-27T10:47:41Z")
“Now I’ve drilled all these holes into my wok, it works brilliantly as a strainer,” said Tom expansively. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1624 "2014-02-27T15:24:41Z")
" ," said Tom, dumbly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1625 "2014-02-27T16:33:39Z")
“I just swoon for authors who use words like ‘eldritch’ and ‘rugous’,” said Tom Love, craftily. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2014, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1626 "2014-02-28T00:18:00Z")
“Searching on the internet for names of cricket bowling deliveries puts me in a spin” said Tom [googly](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Googly). ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2014, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1627 "2014-03-01T04:22:06Z")
“I don’t give a fig where my mucus ends up,” Tom said, snottily. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2014, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1628 "2014-03-01T05:03:05Z")
“Look! A bird!” said Tom twitchily. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2014, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1629 "2014-03-01T07:58:23Z")
“Look! A bird!” Tom tweeted. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2014, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1630 "2014-03-01T08:57:29Z")
“Let’s shape these pieces of wood into the second letter of the alphabet and post them on the Internet,” Tom blogged. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2014, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1631 "2014-03-01T16:58:17Z")
“I must keep my sexual orientation a secret from the cult!” said Tom, crusing. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2014, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1632 "2014-03-01T17:11:15Z")
“My Toyota was built in Mexico,” said Tom, deviously. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1633 "2014-03-02T01:03:46Z")
“I hate long winters! I get so depressed” said Tom sadly. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1634 "2014-03-02T01:48:20Z")
“Go!” Tom started. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1635 "2014-03-02T02:14:01Z")
> [@Johnny\_Q](#): > > “Go!” Tom started. “Stop…now, go. STOP!” Tom said, haltingly. Apologies, JQ ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1636 "2014-03-02T03:30:23Z")
“Bet you can’t guess which English word contains all six vowels in alphabetical order,” said Tom facetiously. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1637 "2014-03-02T05:19:00Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > “Bet you can’t guess which English word contains all six vowels in alphabetical order,” said Tom facetiously. “Can you give me a hint?” Tom said cluelessly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1638 "2014-03-03T00:28:23Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > “Bet you can’t guess which English word contains all six vowels in alphabetical order,” said Tom facetiously. “Wordgames like that are an indulgence, so I won’t do it” said Tom abstemiously. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1639 "2014-03-03T00:30:11Z")
“Keep kids off drugs,” said Tom daringly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1640 "2014-03-03T03:01:23Z")
“My name may be Thomas, but I have the subconscious of my brother Timothy”, Tom said timidly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=81) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=83)