# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 83
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1641 "2014-03-03T13:28:40Z")
“I am so glad I’m being taken on as a permanent employee”, Tom extemporized. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1642 "2014-03-03T17:18:16Z")
“Yes! The dealer dealt me another blackjack!” said Tom, tenaciously. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1643 "2014-03-03T18:33:49Z")
“I’m thinking of joining the bomb squad,” said Tom explosively. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1644 "2014-03-05T00:23:51Z")
“I don’t listen to XTC’s biggest hit any more” said Tom senselessly. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1645 "2014-03-05T00:34:39Z")
“But I do still listen to the opening track of Springsteen’s _Born to Run_,” Tom thunder’d. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1646 "2014-03-06T02:42:28Z")
“Careful, Eugene!” said Tom gentlemanly. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1647 "2014-03-06T09:42:11Z")
“I am not right-handed,” said Tom, sinisterly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1648 "2014-03-06T15:41:41Z")
“Are you speaking of heraldry?” another Tom asked dexterously. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1649 "2014-03-06T15:43:47Z")
“No, I’m not,” Tom answered, negatively. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1650 "2014-03-07T21:23:35Z")
“If only Jerry had remembered that cute girl’s first name!” said Tom dolorously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1651 "2014-03-07T21:49:30Z")
“I’ll never get out of this damned Virginia swamp”, said Tom, dismally. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2014, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1652 "2014-03-08T05:25:40Z")
“I’ve already drunk six glasses of this new pop, Venge,” Tom said vengefully. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2014, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1653 "2014-03-08T05:36:23Z")
“Anyone here a fan of Jefferson Airplane?” said Tom, gracefully. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2014, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1654 "2014-03-08T06:48:23Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “I’ll never get out of this damned Virginia swamp”, said Tom, dismally. “I’ll never get out of this damned slough” said Tom Pilgrim despondently. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2014, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1655 "2014-03-08T16:40:46Z")
“Can we please put off any more entries about Tolkien’s talking trees?” asked Tom, deferentially. “I completely agree”, said Frodo, concurrently. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2014, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1656 "2014-03-08T16:55:10Z")
“What our sports team really needs is a good offense,” said Tom, defensively. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2014, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1657 "2014-03-08T22:16:15Z")
“What’s wrong with the one we’ve got?” said Tom, taking offense. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1658 "2014-03-09T00:33:57Z")
“So what if I know people who move stolen goods?” Tom riposted. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1659 "2014-03-09T01:06:04Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > “So what if I know people who move stolen goods?” Tom riposted. “But think how they got them in the first place” Tom fenced. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1660 "2014-03-09T19:31:19Z")
“The IRS is on my case again,” Tom said, taxingly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=82) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=84)