# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 85
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2014, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1681 "2014-03-12T00:45:21Z")
“Bad, anon (anag)” said Tom with abandon. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2014, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1682 "2014-03-12T01:21:58Z")
“I could really use a male goose about now,” sai Tom, taking a gander. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2014, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1683 "2014-03-12T01:23:40Z")
“Dolores, you’re under arrest,” said Tom, taking Umbridge. ---
**Author:** ![bleach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bleach/32/3106_2.png) [@bleach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bleach)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2014, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1684 "2014-03-12T22:54:56Z")
“Dolores, you minx, I’ve never seen you this turned on before.” said Tom, taking Umbridge. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2014, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1685 "2014-03-12T23:01:42Z")
“Where can that last jigsaw piece have gone to?” Tom puzzled. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2014, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1686 "2014-03-12T23:59:25Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “Where can that last jigsaw piece have gone to?” Tom puzzled. “Ah, there it is!” said Tom fittingly. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1687 "2014-03-13T00:24:13Z")
“Do you know the answer for 5 Down?” said Tom, crossly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1688 "2014-03-13T13:49:03Z")
“I need my gun for protection in this Artic tundra. I can’t even feel my extremities” said Tom, waving his cold, dead hands. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1689 "2014-03-13T16:04:55Z")
“Get back, I’m gonna hurl!” said Tom, wretchedly. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1690 "2014-03-13T16:16:55Z")
“Those are the largest input/output devices I’ve ever seen!” said Tom, grandiosly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1691 "2014-03-13T16:54:39Z")
“Thanks for lending me that thousand dollars. Here’s a note acknowledging the debt”, Tom said, grandiously. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1692 "2014-03-13T17:06:11Z")
“Got myself a job at Lenscrafters today,” said Tom, making a spectacle of himself. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1693 "2014-03-13T17:12:29Z")
“Maybe if I hadn’t so thoroughly embraced Tea Party positions …” said Mitt, immoderately. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1694 "2014-03-13T18:18:55Z")
“Six, seven, eight, nine, and \*there’s \*the last of the damaged areas on my brand new car!” Tom said, tendentiously. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1695 "2014-03-13T18:40:17Z")
“How do you add 6+6+500 in Roman numerals?” asked Tom, vividly. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1696 "2014-03-13T23:30:02Z")
“I, for one, happen to admire that Russian President!” Tom put in. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1697 "2014-03-13T23:46:10Z")
“It’s not the best movie I’ve ever seen,” said Tom beratedly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2014, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1698 "2014-03-14T00:32:33Z")
“Excuse me, I believe these are your buttocks” Tom said assiduously. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2014, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1699 "2014-03-14T01:22:24Z")
“My mind’s like a cast-iron trap,” said Tom, tempermentally. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2014, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1700 "2014-03-14T16:35:56Z")
“This zoo’s African animals all look starved and diseased”, Tom said, hippocritically. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=84) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=86)