# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 86
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1701 "2014-03-15T03:10:52Z")
“That Piltdown Man fossil is starting to seem a bit dubious to me” said Tom speciously. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1702 "2014-03-15T03:13:31Z")
“Meet my magic black cat,” said Tom, with familiarity. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1703 "2014-03-15T15:05:08Z")
“I am a boddhisatva,” Tom buddha’d\_avidly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1704 "2014-03-15T15:20:33Z")
“This with’s drink is making me feel funny” Tom brewhaha’ed. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1705 "2014-03-15T17:10:07Z")
“Would you like a hit?” Tom proffered. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1706 "2014-03-16T02:03:11Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > “This with’s drink is making me feel funny” Tom brewhaha’ed. " [hic] Dis wed rine ish making me talk funny. Mush be shometing wrong wid it [hic]" Tom slurred. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1707 "2014-03-16T05:07:53Z")
“Once again, we took out the #2 guy in al-Qaeda,” Gen. Tom droned. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1708 "2014-03-16T07:03:31Z")
“I don’t judge people by their chest muscles any more,” Tom expectorated. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1709 "2014-03-16T16:57:58Z")
“Who chopped down that entire redwood forest?” Tom opined. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1710 "2014-03-17T00:18:34Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > “I don’t judge people by their chest muscles any more,” Tom expectorated. “I hate those weird things you are wearing over your shoes” Tom spat. > [@buddha\_david](#): > > “Who chopped down that entire redwood forest?” Tom opined. “Redwoods aren’t really pines, you know” Tom coniferred. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1711 "2014-03-17T02:00:39Z")
“I hate it went ants crawl all over my wind-up alarm clock,” said Tom, pedantically. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1712 "2014-03-17T04:46:51Z")
“This wigwam tastes good,” the Wicked Witch of the West said, ostentatiously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1713 "2014-03-17T13:54:59Z")
“I don’t know whether to go ride my surfboard or go buy an engagement band for my fiancée”, said Tom, wavering. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1714 "2014-03-17T14:30:55Z")
“I love March 14 - know why?” Tom asked, piously. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1715 "2014-03-17T18:38:00Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “I love March 14 - know why?” Tom asked, piously. “Who cares?” Tom replied irrationally. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1716 "2014-03-18T01:04:44Z")
“Happy St. Patrick’s Day,” Tom said, greenly. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1717 "2014-03-18T03:02:42Z")
“I wonder what that guy meant by, ‘Beware the Ides of March’,” Julius said, stabbingly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1718 "2014-03-19T00:56:42Z")
“I’m sure these mountains weren’t here last time I was here …” Tom explained. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1719 "2014-03-19T01:08:40Z")
“Mr. Cleaver, I wish it were still February,” Tom said, marching forward. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1720 "2014-03-19T02:31:36Z")
“Baaaaa,” Tom said, sheepishly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=85) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=87)