# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 87
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1721 "2014-03-19T20:44:57Z")
“Roar”, Tom the Minotaur said, bullheadedly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1722 "2014-03-19T20:54:32Z")
“I don’t want to be pinned down on that”, Tom weaseled. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1723 "2014-03-19T21:06:47Z")
“That dinner hit the spot,” said Dracula, sanguinely ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1724 "2014-03-20T00:02:21Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > “That dinner hit the spot,” said Dracula, sanguinely “Mutton should be well drained before being cooked” Dracula rambled. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1725 "2014-03-21T21:11:13Z")
“Probably shouldn’t have cast that summoning spell,” Tom demonstrated. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1726 "2014-03-22T06:09:57Z")
“Put those female swans back in their enclosure!” Tom penned. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1727 "2014-03-22T15:31:39Z")
“I on the most famous street in the world,” said Tom, in his broad way. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1728 "2014-03-22T15:43:03Z")
“I’ve read this book for 1,984 days” said Tom, Orwellianly ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1729 "2014-03-22T17:35:05Z")
“Can’t believe I’ve got to take another leak already,” said Ted, repeatedly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1730 "2014-03-23T01:13:50Z")
“Ow! My forearm!” said Tom humerusly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1731 "2014-03-23T13:46:52Z")
“No, women have just as many as men, no matter what the Genesis literalists tell you”, Tom ribbed his friend. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1732 "2014-03-23T23:47:37Z")
“Every time I lift something this massive I feel like I want to throw up” Tom said heavily. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1733 "2014-03-24T00:38:35Z")
“How much would you pay to save your immortal soul?” Tom asked indulgently. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1734 "2014-03-24T04:12:03Z")
“A lightning storm’s approaching!” Tom thundered. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1735 "2014-03-24T12:29:33Z")
“It feels like I’ll never be done with all this laundry!” Tom pressed on. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1736 "2014-03-24T13:11:09Z")
"A pox on all of you, said Tom, like a small chicken ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1737 "2014-03-24T16:31:46Z")
“Hey, don’t throw that book at me!” Tom ducked. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1738 "2014-03-24T16:36:26Z")
“I’m going to use my SatNav as a drum”, Tom TomTom tom-tommed. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1739 "2014-03-24T21:53:47Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > “A lightning storm’s approaching!” Tom thundered. “Why, lightning bolts must be the same thing as static sparks, only much bigger,” Tom flashed! (But Ben beat him to the demonstration.) ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1740 "2014-03-24T23:48:57Z")
“I promise I’ll give you back that big brass key when I’m done with this lightning experiment”, said Ben Franklin to Tom, stringing him along. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=86) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=88)