# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 88
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1741 "2014-03-26T02:50:59Z")
“Sorry, but no one else is allowed in the party hall,” Tom said, bashfully. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1742 "2014-03-28T19:28:29Z")
“It’s not like he was merely a heroin addict or an armed robber. I just had to throw my son out of the house when I found out what he was like and what he was doing!” said Tom with gay abandon. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2014, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1743 "2014-03-29T01:52:07Z")
“Damn, that’s \*blood \*on Schilling’s sock!” Tom said, curtly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2014, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1744 "2014-03-29T02:52:00Z")
“I always buy the most popular hifi player on the market” said Tom stereotypically. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2014, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1745 "2014-03-29T04:06:58Z")
“I don’t think Aunt Beatrice will ever forgive what I did to her,” said Tom, begrudgingly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2014, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1746 "2014-03-29T10:21:53Z")
“My underarm sweat leaves this weird circle on my shirt” said Tom boringly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2014, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1747 "2014-03-29T15:09:20Z")
“I’ve recovered hidden memories. I was a victim of ritual abuse” said Tom, satanically. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2014, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1748 "2014-03-29T15:24:28Z")
What’s this Plutonium do? Tom asked, glowingly. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1749 "2014-03-30T10:48:51Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > What’s this Plutonium do? Tom asked, glowingly. “I can’t think of a single thing anyone other than I has ever said” Tom said quotelessly. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1750 "2014-03-30T11:27:57Z")
“I have no idea who could have stolen all my board games,” Tom said cluelessly. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1751 "2014-03-30T13:32:47Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > “I can’t think of a single thing anyone other than I has ever said” Tom said quotelessly. Leo stood, Tom corrected. ::I think.:: ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1752 "2014-03-30T14:48:23Z")
“I’ve seen every movie Sandra Bullock ever made,” Tom speedily posted to the Net, with gravity. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1753 "2014-03-30T23:30:28Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > “I’ve seen every movie Sandra Bullock ever made,” Tom speedily posted to the Net, with gravity. “I prefer Meg Ryan romcoms” said Tom sleeplessly. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1754 "2014-04-04T15:35:25Z")
“This bird has no beak,” said Tom impeccably. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1755 "2014-04-06T17:02:13Z")
“I graded these exams a second time,” Tom remarked. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1756 "2014-04-06T17:38:20Z")
“This picture is shaped like an oval,” said Tom, elliptically. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1757 "2014-04-06T17:40:34Z")
“Don’t cross the streams,” said Buster, in a ghostly fashion. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1758 "2014-04-06T17:50:04Z")
If you all don’t shape up according to my stated demands, I’m going to terminate all of you, close down the music hall, and sell it!" shouted Tom, disconcertingly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2014, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1759 "2014-04-07T16:05:25Z")
“The doctor who delivered my wife’s baby had a viral infection”, said Tom, obstreperously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2014, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1760 "2014-04-07T16:54:43Z")
“Look! My monkey’s tail has regained its function!” said Tom, reprehensibly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=87) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=89)