# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/161 "2013-07-12T14:49:40Z")
“How disarming,” said Captain Hook, off-handedly. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/162 "2013-07-12T15:19:43Z")
“Get some air blowing that fire!” Tom bellowed. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/163 "2013-07-12T16:03:11Z")
“…and then we finally landed in Helsinki,” Tom finished. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/164 "2013-07-12T16:08:04Z")
“We need to number these tree trunks,” Tom said in Tagalog. ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/165 "2013-07-12T17:32:46Z")
“Well, so much for my electric dirigible,” Tom said, totally deflated. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/166 "2013-07-12T18:03:20Z")
“How can Doc Cathode and Dr. Fidelius both agree and disagree?” Tom asked paradoxically. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/167 "2013-07-12T19:56:26Z")
“I deduce I have to go be-bop-adoopy-doo,” Tom sang scatalogically. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/168 "2013-07-12T20:16:14Z")
“I really love to listen to blind musicians” said Tom wonderly ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/169 "2013-07-12T20:20:19Z")
“I’ll never get the stain out of this shirt,” Tom shouted. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/170 "2013-07-12T21:08:37Z")
“Why aye, aal Geordie lads like a tab!” Tom smirked. Some translation may be needed. “Geordies” are natives of Newcastle-upon-Tyne, England, “tabs” are cigarettes, and “smirked” is an approximate phonetic spelling of the word “smoked” as a Geordie would pronounce it. “Aal” is also phonetic, not a mistake. “Why aye” means “yes indeed”. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/171 "2013-07-13T01:31:09Z")
“Old Man Schrödinger doesn’t even know whether his pet is alive or dead,” Tom said cattily. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/172 "2013-07-13T04:58:50Z")
“I wonder if I can smuggle this knick-knack past customs?” said Tom curiosly. ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/173 "2013-07-13T05:57:08Z")
"You’re flat! Tom shouted to the lead singer, sharply. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/174 "2013-07-13T05:59:17Z")
“Would you like some lemonade?” Tom asked sourly. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/175 "2013-07-13T06:23:28Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > “Why aye, aal Geordie lads like a tab!” Tom smirked. Very good. “I’ve never owned a country house before,” said Tom in an unprepossessing manner. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/176 "2013-07-13T13:25:11Z")
“I’m the guy who found the rest of the Venus de Milo,” Tom said disarmingly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/177 "2013-07-13T13:26:12Z")
“I propose we give him the maximum sentence,” Tom said with conviction. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/178 "2013-07-13T14:59:15Z")
“The shootin’ season’s too damn short,” Tom groused. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/179 "2013-07-13T15:35:37Z")
1."I am going to kill House by slicing him into little tiny pieces for telling me ‘it’s never lupus,’ said Tom, gregoriously. 2.“I’ve written a sequel to Andrew Lloyd Webber’s most famous work” said Tom fandomly. 3.“I really miss some of our dear, departed Dopers” said Tom, highopally. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/180 "2013-07-13T16:31:58Z")
“There’s a TV marathon today featuring that show with the high school singing club!” said Tom, gleefully. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=10)