# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 90
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1781 "2014-04-09T12:58:35Z")
“I sure pulled the wool over Ollie’s eyes” said Stan foolhardily. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1782 "2014-04-09T13:02:14Z")
“The Princess of Monaco has already dined” said the butler ingratiatingly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1783 "2014-04-09T13:07:12Z")
“But I’ll never see her face again … sob …” said Prince Albert, disgracefully. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1784 "2014-04-09T17:23:45Z")
“Don’t worry Spike, not everyone dislikes you”, said Tom, soothingly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1785 "2014-04-09T17:44:15Z")
“Casper was the mastermind behind this scheme” said Tom, giving up the ghost. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1786 "2014-04-09T17:46:33Z")
“Dad, tell your brother to keep quiet” said Tom unctuously. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1787 "2014-04-09T18:16:38Z")
“My great aunt Helena’s risen from her grave,” said Tom, hauntingly. “My great aunt Josephine’s gone off on a quick road trip,” said Tom, jauntingly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1788 "2014-04-09T18:24:31Z")
“I just bought some small speakers to improve high-frequency response” Tom tweeted. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1789 "2014-04-09T18:25:36Z")
“But I only have 140 characters to tell you about it”, said Tom, all a-twitter. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1790 "2014-04-09T18:27:02Z")
“No, no, not laboratory…vill you please tell me vhere I can find the lavatory” said Count Dracula peevishly. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1791 "2014-04-09T18:31:10Z")
“Stop…Stan”, said Tom, haltingly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1792 "2014-04-09T18:48:21Z")
“Quicken and Money are all right as financial management tools, but they’re not my first choice”, said Tom, intuitively. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1793 "2014-04-09T19:20:26Z")
“I hate Microsoft Office,” said Tom, wordily. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1794 "2014-04-09T19:36:43Z")
“That joke was so funny I did a spit take with my breakfast juice” Tom bloviated. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1795 "2014-04-09T19:40:18Z")
“The marathon begins here at the delta” said Tom, running off at the mouth. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1796 "2014-04-09T19:44:34Z")
“What do you mean, you don’t have a table for us in the entire restaurant?” Tom asked, unreservedly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1797 "2014-04-09T19:46:46Z")
“I think we’re lost. All we’ve been doing is driving in a circle” said Tom forthrightly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1798 "2014-04-09T20:24:09Z")
“Viagra has really helped my relationship with Elizabeth” said Bob indolently. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1799 "2014-04-09T20:29:40Z")
“I see you’ve noticed that my left arm is smaller than my right one” said Tom witheringly. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1800 "2014-04-09T21:20:24Z")
“My name is Christian,” he said heartily. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=89) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=91)