# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 91
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1801 "2014-04-09T22:33:43Z")
“And that’s why Britain should switch to the American dollar,” Tom expounded. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1802 "2014-04-10T05:19:04Z")
“I accidentally swallowed my wife’s permanent mixture” said Tom with a lilt in his voice. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1803 "2014-04-10T05:22:28Z")
“My master ejected me from the house” said Tomcat, put out. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1804 "2014-04-10T05:27:29Z")
“Oh no! I thought that was a Hershey Bar I just ate!” said Tom laxly. ---
**Author:** ![Waymore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Waymore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waymore)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1805 "2014-04-10T11:45:29Z")
“I can see the entire countryside from here,” Tom said insightfully. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1806 "2014-04-10T12:47:22Z")
“Monsieur…I assure you that I have plugged in ze computer and pushed ze power button” said Pierre with a certain ennui. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1807 "2014-04-10T13:05:01Z")
“Stop, in the name of the law!” said Officer Tom, haltingly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1808 "2014-04-10T13:22:31Z")
“Coochie coochie coo, Ms. Lange” Tom gesticulated. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1809 "2014-04-10T13:23:56Z")
“I not only swallow swords but large metal files as well” said Tom in a raspy voice. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1810 "2014-04-10T13:27:58Z")
“I see this is one of those movie theaters with stadium seating” said Tom with a tier in his eye. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1811 "2014-04-10T13:35:14Z")
“Look at the jugs on that babe!” Tom hooted. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1812 "2014-04-10T15:00:15Z")
“Damn, I didn’t get there in time. She already put her top back on”. said Tom, titillatingly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1813 "2014-04-10T15:38:09Z")
“Yes, I’m holding my balls. You can proceed with your questioning”, Proconsul Thomasius testified. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1814 "2014-04-10T15:51:14Z")
“I’ll have you know that Bobby Hatfield and I had a lot hit records!” said Bill Medley self-righteously. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1815 "2014-04-10T15:52:28Z")
“My forbears came from Appalachia” Tom hollered. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1816 "2014-04-10T15:54:41Z")
“My new organ transplant is working perfectly” said Tom, heartened. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1817 "2014-04-10T15:58:31Z")
“I only take orders from married women” said Tom, mystified. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1818 "2014-04-10T16:12:27Z")
“Hey wait…what’s this I’m breathing?” said Tom, with an air of mystery. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1819 "2014-04-10T16:49:36Z")
Nm ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1820 "2014-04-10T17:12:11Z")
“The rabbi’s body was found in an advanced state of decomposition” the coroner adjudicated. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=90) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=92)