# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 92
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1821 "2014-04-10T17:16:45Z")
“I’m gonna hurl!” said Tom wretchedly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1822 "2014-04-10T17:18:23Z")
“I am unable to urinate” said Tom piquantly. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1823 "2014-04-10T18:13:52Z")
“They caught me stealing in Saudi Arabia”, Tom said, offhandedly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1824 "2014-04-10T18:53:31Z")
“I’m still getting used to this prosthetic leg”, Tom said, putting his best foot forward. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1825 "2014-04-10T18:54:54Z")
“I ain’t really dead,” said Elvis L1vely. ---
**Author:** ![AppallingGael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9bd4f/32.png) [@AppallingGael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AppallingGael)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1826 "2014-04-11T02:20:43Z")
“240 East 49th Street sucks”, said Tom disconsolately. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1827 "2014-04-11T04:45:25Z")
“I’m pleased to present the man who is the world’s foremost authority on word play” said Tom pungently. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1828 "2014-04-11T04:48:03Z")
“So, you’re the founder of _Rolling Stone_”? Tom yawned. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1829 "2014-04-11T05:27:30Z")
“I guess I’ve left Cousy draped over the backboard long enough” said Bill Russell, letting his guard down. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1830 "2014-04-11T13:20:18Z")
“This isn’t really an embassy and you’re not really an ambassador and you’re not even on time!” said Tom, disconsulately. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1831 "2014-04-11T16:08:47Z")
“I still have a soft spot for that 1967 [Liz Taylor movie](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Taming_of_the_Shrew_%281967_film%29),” said Tom, shrewdly. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1832 "2014-04-11T16:48:42Z")
“Guess I got caught with my pants down,” Tom said embarrassedly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1833 "2014-04-11T16:55:40Z")
“But I’m not embarrassed at all about it”, Tom added, cockily. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1834 "2014-04-11T19:14:04Z")
“When I was a kid, I used to amuse myself by lighting insects on fire” said Tom flamboyantly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1835 "2014-04-11T19:15:39Z")
“Go back, Jack, do it again” said Tom with a steely expression. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1836 "2014-04-11T19:22:23Z")
“It’s so cold I’ve pulled the collar of my turtleneck sweater up over my mouth” said Tom, mortified. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1837 "2014-04-11T19:30:20Z")
“_Cogito ergo sum_” said Descartes self-consciously. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1838 "2014-04-12T00:08:20Z")
“Ever heard of Mr. Pickle’s sandwich shops?” Tom asked, dilligently. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1839 "2014-04-12T16:07:58Z")
“I consider The Stooges to be among rock ‘n’ roll royalty” said Tom ignobly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1840 "2014-04-12T16:19:30Z")
“I’ll fly you down in my private jet” said Tom with a leer. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=91) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=93)