# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 93
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1841 "2014-04-12T16:29:09Z")
“This pier’s too tall to fish from,” said Tom, with a downcast expression. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1842 "2014-04-12T16:29:49Z")
“I’m glad CBS cancelled that stupid sitcom with Cloris Leachman” said Tom philosophically. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1843 "2014-04-12T16:33:23Z")
“I got a neck injury in that crash”, Tom said, snidely. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1844 "2014-04-12T23:33:40Z")
"it’s ‘between you and me,’ not “between you and I’” Tom objected. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1845 "2014-04-12T23:35:28Z")
“If you want to use a handheld mic, go right ahead…but not me” said Tom, taking a stand. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1846 "2014-04-12T23:39:25Z")
“I admit it…I shoplifted these boxer shorts” said Tom, caught unawares. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1847 "2014-04-12T23:49:16Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > “I got a neck injury in that crash”, Tom said, snidely. “Care to feel my whiplash, Little Nell?” Tom asked, snidely. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1848 "2014-04-13T01:19:36Z")
“Why would anyone trust a skycap with their luggage?” Tom carried on. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1849 "2014-04-13T01:26:48Z")
“How many damned power metal bands from Brazil can there be?” Tom said, [angrily.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angra_%28band%29) ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1850 "2014-04-13T01:55:42Z")
“I don’t care what excuses Robin makes, he’s sexist” said Tom, laying it on thick. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1851 "2014-04-13T02:00:18Z")
“Doc, you really botched my circumcision. I’m gettin’ out of here” said Tom, going off half-cocked. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1852 "2014-04-13T02:01:52Z")
“If only I could find a Chinese laundry nearby” said Tom wishy-washily. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1853 "2014-04-13T03:15:38Z")
“I don’t care if Frank was a great first baseman, I’m disinheriting him” said his father, leaving nothing to chance. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1854 "2014-04-13T03:15:44Z")
“I had to quit _my_ laundry job because the irons were just too hot,” Tom expressed. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1855 "2014-04-13T03:36:59Z")
“You’re in deep doo-doo after what you did to that apple, Adam” the Lord insinuated. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1856 "2014-04-13T05:06:01Z")
“If we sneak over to the girls’ camp with these binoculars, maybe we can catch them undressing” said Tommy, gazing intently. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1857 "2014-04-13T05:38:53Z")
“I’ve been crawling around this goose habitat for hours” said Tom, getting down on his knees. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1858 "2014-04-13T05:41:17Z")
“No matter what I do, I can’t seem to add this column of figures” said Tom, nonplussed. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1859 "2014-04-13T16:07:43Z")
“Now I have an infielder’s glove as well as an outfielder’s glove,” Tom admitted. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1860 "2014-04-13T16:35:19Z")
“How’m I gonna make a copy of this Monet painting, with my printer out of ink?” asked Tom, with a blank expression. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=92) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=94)