# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 95
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2014, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1881 "2014-04-14T14:05:30Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > :: **DChord 568** is possessed :: … Tom said spiritedly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2014, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1882 "2014-04-14T16:13:05Z")
“It is finished”, said Jesus, excruciatingly. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2014, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1883 "2014-04-14T16:16:19Z")
“No, it has only begun,” Tom said, initially. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2014, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1884 "2014-04-14T16:18:20Z")
“I’m so glad Mrs. Clinton left the State Department so I could take over the office”, said John Kerry, exhilarated. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2014, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1885 "2014-04-14T16:24:02Z")
“Just czeching here - is it relevant that your ancestors were from the Sudetenland?” Tom asked, germanely. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2014, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1886 "2014-04-14T16:29:09Z")
“I don 't care if it looks like I have symptoms of the ‘[Kissing Disease](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kissing_disease)’! Once again, I don’t have it!!!” repeated [del]Richie Cunningham[/del] Tom, monotonously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2014, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1887 "2014-04-14T16:44:16Z")
“The doctor said to rub this ointment directly on my rash”, said Tom, topically. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2014, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1888 "2014-04-14T17:15:56Z")
“I climbed up into the pointy thing on top of the cathedral”, said Tom, inspired. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2014, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1889 "2014-04-14T17:16:58Z")
“I’ll never tell what I put between the covers of that book”, said Tom, bound to secrecy. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2014, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1890 "2014-04-14T17:24:34Z")
“I can’t believe Ethiopia’s building [that gigantic dam](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Ethiopian_Renaissance_Dam),” said Tom, in a state of denial. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2014, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1891 "2014-04-14T19:08:30Z")
“I’m going to get back at Merv Griffin for all those years he treated me so casually on his talk show. Even the profits from that fish ‘n’ chips chain didn’t heal the wounds” said Arthur, treacherously. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2014, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1892 "2014-04-14T23:05:03Z")
“Fuck!”, Tom wrote, in cursive. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1893 "2014-04-15T14:35:19Z")
“I’m getting a little sick of seeing that vampire flashing his fangs in the movie promo on SDMB” said Tom incisively. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1894 "2014-04-15T14:36:37Z")
“I just love parsley,” said Sage Rosemary, thymely. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1895 "2014-04-15T15:25:04Z")
"I love words of wisdom, " said Tom, sagely. “I hate the name Leland; I’m going to name my newborn baby Stuart instead,” said Mary, stubbornly. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1896 "2014-04-15T16:22:52Z")
> [@DChord568](#): > > “I always have to pee right after I douche” said Mary, full of piss and vinegar. Wow. Kind of skirting adverbs, but wow. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1897 "2014-04-15T16:25:19Z")
“I’ll walk back towards you,” Tom reproached. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1898 "2014-04-15T16:27:23Z")
“I wish I could breathe,” Tom said, guiltily. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1899 "2014-04-15T16:29:56Z")
“I thought I wanted an ermine robe, but now I’m not so sure”, Tom weaseled. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1900 "2014-04-15T16:30:28Z")
“I would never have written a potboiler such as _Hamlet,_” said Tom, disdainfully. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=94) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=96)