# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 96
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1901 "2014-04-15T16:32:20Z")
“How many threads?” Tom replied. :: that was staring at me in the face :: ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1902 "2014-04-15T16:35:59Z")
“That guy we got in Congress can’t tell the truth to save his life!” Tom replied. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1903 "2014-04-15T16:37:57Z")
“Oh, it’s OK, it’s spurting only from my carotid,” said Tom, sanguinely. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1904 "2014-04-15T16:39:10Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “That guy we got in Congress can’t tell the truth to save his life!” Tom replied. 🙂 Took me a moment. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1905 "2014-04-15T16:55:54Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > 🙂 Took me a moment. Me too! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1906 "2014-04-15T17:31:38Z")
“Mickey, I’m sure your hitting will get even better than it is now if we bat Maris after you in the lineup” said Casey Stengel, giving him a left-handed complement. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1907 "2014-04-15T17:35:31Z")
“I’d better add $100 to that widget I’m tracking on eBay,” said Tom, morbidly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1908 "2014-04-15T17:38:04Z")
I’ll try to do better 😉 “That nice man has no car and no way to ride the bus” said Tom, intransigently. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1909 "2014-04-15T17:56:24Z")
“And he has no land to build a new house on, either” Tom added, intractably. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1910 "2014-04-15T18:15:12Z")
“That does it! I have to get myself a new dummy” said the ventriloquist figuratively. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1911 "2014-04-15T18:17:41Z")
“I can’t remember who played Colonel Mustard in the movie version of Clue,” Martin mulled. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1912 "2014-04-15T18:22:06Z")
“Screw the guy whose band I played in prior to joining The Beatles!” said Ringo uproariously. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1913 "2014-04-15T18:26:26Z")
“I know exactly what the surroundings should look like” said the set designer, making a scene. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1914 "2014-04-15T18:28:29Z")
“Whole note, half note, quarter note, eighth note” said Tom in measured tones. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1915 "2014-04-15T18:41:35Z")
“But nobody loves a sixteenth note”, Tom said with a quaver. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1916 "2014-04-15T19:35:15Z")
:: hey, stick to adverbs. Otherwise different game, no? :: ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1917 "2014-04-15T21:03:49Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > :: hey, stick to adverbs. Otherwise different game, no? :: I see no advantage to placing this unnecessary restriction on the game, unless you can cite some sort of official and widely recognized rulebook for Tom Swifties. No such restriction was placed by the OP. We ought to be here to have a laugh and appreciate others’ creativity, no? ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1918 "2014-04-15T22:04:39Z")
Of course. Just askin’ man. We gots lots of good pun threads to go around. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1919 "2014-04-15T22:12:47Z")
“We’ve always entertained a fantasy about starring in a Mack Sennet comedy” Tom said piously. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1920 "2014-04-16T01:47:16Z")
“Please, have some liqueur,” Tom said, cordially. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=95) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=97)