# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 98
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1941 "2014-04-16T16:06:29Z")
(This one hits close to home — my district, in fact!) “Thank God Congress expelled [that goofy Representative](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Traficant) from Ohio” Tom said extravagantly. ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1942 "2014-04-16T16:15:58Z")
“You’ve been eating those potato chips ever since we arrived in England,” Tom said crisply. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1943 "2014-04-16T17:15:25Z")
“C’mon, Shirley, don’t start bawling” said Warren, anticipating a crisis. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1944 "2014-04-16T17:19:06Z")
“I have to check up on all four of my estates before the week is out” said Tom, minding his manners. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1945 "2014-04-16T17:23:37Z")
“I’m gonna need a plug-in if I want to convert this .wav file to an .mp3” said Tom lamely. ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1946 "2014-04-16T19:28:28Z")
“I wouldn’t be caught dead in St. Louis,” said Tom archly. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1947 "2014-04-16T19:39:11Z")
“But I wouldn’t mind seeing that hall in Philadelphia,” said Tom, independently. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1948 "2014-04-16T19:48:54Z")
“Betcha wouldn’t dare go up that tower in Seattle”, Tom needled. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1949 "2014-04-16T20:47:01Z")
“Lord please hear my prayer” said Jonah, feeling down in the mouth. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1950 "2014-04-16T20:49:04Z")
“I guess I’m destined to spend the rest of my days hanging upside down by my feet” said the housefly, sealing his fate. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1951 "2014-04-16T21:01:52Z")
“The government has provided us funding for a new supply of whips” Tom said flagrantly. ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1952 "2014-04-16T21:27:33Z")
“Good fences make good neighbors,” said Tom frostily. ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1953 "2014-04-16T21:30:25Z")
“I don’t care, let’s just have dumplings,” said Tom wantonly. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1954 "2014-04-16T22:08:17Z")
“A cuckold’s bedroom is no place to get caught fucking in,” said Tom, flagrantly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1955 "2014-04-17T03:23:44Z")
“I finally got the toilet unstopped” said Tom, flushed with success. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1956 "2014-04-17T14:25:54Z")
“I’m going to eat _as much as I can_,” said Tom emphatically. ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1957 "2014-04-17T14:53:07Z")
“There’s a huge rip in this shirt!” said Tom tearfully. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1958 "2014-04-17T15:06:33Z")
“I keep pulling on the reins, but this damn horse won’t stop!” said Tom woefully. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1959 "2014-04-17T15:13:48Z")
“We’ll bury this rare china we stole in the back yard until the heat dies down” said Tom, dishing the dirt. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1960 "2014-04-17T15:17:58Z")
“First I’ll sniff some glue, then I’ll smoke some weed” Tom huffed and puffed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=97) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=99)