# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 99
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1961 "2014-04-17T15:52:44Z")
“Sorry, guys, but it looks like mine’s the winning hand yet again,” Tom said flushing. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1962 "2014-04-17T15:55:57Z")
“Make it so”, said Captain Picard, engagingly. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1963 "2014-04-17T18:03:16Z")
“Captain, have you noticed none of the red shirts we send on the away team ever come back?” said Spock, logically. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1964 "2014-04-17T18:24:18Z")
“Societal taboos against incest are misguided” Tom insisted. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1965 "2014-04-17T18:31:09Z")
“I just added another layer of soil to my garden” Tom repeated. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1966 "2014-04-17T19:23:04Z")
“Oh, shit! The sun’s rising!” said the vampire, slowly dawning on him. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1967 "2014-04-17T19:35:09Z")
“Dammit, I can’t get back to my fucking coffin in time”, the vampire added, his blood boiling. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1968 "2014-04-17T19:47:28Z")
“Looks like my nightly rambles are over anyway” the vampire concluded, having a stake in the matter. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1969 "2014-04-17T19:59:11Z")
“I’m finally getting my teeth fixed” said Ray Davies, bridging the gap. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1970 "2014-04-17T20:02:29Z")
“There goes my manual transmission” Tom said shiftlessly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1971 "2014-04-17T20:46:24Z")
“Y’all seen mah piannah anywhar?” Emanuel Axed. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1972 "2014-04-17T20:50:59Z")
“Where can I buy a Mother’s Day card printed in German?” Tom muttered. ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1973 "2014-04-17T21:35:55Z")
“Bring that tall bottle of beer over here,” Tom growled. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1974 "2014-04-18T13:09:37Z")
“I guess I better get out of here before they impeach me” said Nixon, with an air of resignation. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1975 "2014-04-18T13:25:08Z")
“The thought of having sex with a male repulses me” the lesbian said manically. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1976 "2014-04-18T13:31:12Z")
“What is this strange glowing phenomenon?” said Marie curiously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1977 "2014-04-18T13:43:25Z")
“Oh, Mr. Grant!” said Mary, spunkily. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1978 "2014-04-18T14:11:35Z")
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to come so soon” said Tom spunkily. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1979 "2014-04-18T16:29:41Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “Y’all seen mah piannah anywhar?” Emanuel Axed. 🙂 So you wanna play that way, hmmmm? ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1980 "2014-04-18T16:30:59Z")
> [@Nonsuch](#): > > “Bring that tall bottle of beer over here,” Tom growled. 😕 there’s a beer grolsch, ISTR–it’s in a tall bottle? (is that it?) Also, From **Buddha** : > [@](#): > > “Where can I buy a Mother’s Day card printed in German?” Tom muttered. So foreign languages can play? Oh boy… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=98) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=100)